


Barking Mad

by JuweWright



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - 2000s, F/M, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Marauders, Non-Magical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-10-17 16:49:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10598127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuweWright/pseuds/JuweWright
Summary: Sirius and Remus once met briefly at the end of high school. They didn't talk to each other but the picture of the other has been edged into their memories and followed them for years. When their paths cross again at university, it feels like destiny. But can reality live up to the two dreamer's expectations?“So... who is that boy?”“What boy?”“That boy. The long-haired Prince of Darkness who is dancing with the Queen of Cupkakes.”“What makes you think I am watching the Prince and not the Queen.”“I just know."My first attempt at WolfStar





	1. Follow Me

**“Sal, we gotta go and never stop going 'till we get there.'**  
'Where we going, man?'  
'I don't know but we gotta go.”  
― Jack Kerouac, On the Road 

_“Lily Evans?” exclaimed one of the guys who walked across the parking lot._

_Both were wearing school uniforms. One of them had messy dark hair and glasses and defied the authorities by the means of a very badly knotted tie and a pair of neon green socks that flashed up with every stride as his trousers had become a little too short as he had grown a couple of centimetres throughout the term_

_“Lily Evans asked you out?”_

_The shorter boy looked – well, unkempt, in an unflattering way. His hair had the colour of horse-shit and his clothes were covered with stains of diverse origins from what was hopefully yoghurt to what was clearly ink. When he noticed a yellow beetle parked between a flashy corvette and a pick-up, a smile appeared on his face, revealing huge, slightly crooked front teeth that gave him the air of a rodent._

_Sirius was standing a few paces away, where he had parked the motorbike and had been cursing violently about a quarter of an hour earlier when he had found that some moron had managed to park their car just so that there was no way in hell – unless you cut down a tree or levitated the bike over the thorny hedge – he’d go home any time soon. He’d finally given up cursing – because cursing was no fun if there was nobody to hear it – and pulled out a paperback whilst leaning on the culprit’s Mercedes. As it was one of the first warm days and the sun was shining, it wasn’t too horrible to wait around and “On the Road” was quite a decent read. Yeah, Kerouac probably had consumed way too many drugs whilst coming up with this story, but Sirius wasn’t there to judge, he was there to be entertained by a piece of 1960s literature, and nobody could say the exploits of that completely fucked up group of friends were boring._

_“Oh look. Moony’s here already.”_

_“And he’s waiting in his damned canary car instead of enjoying the sun. Kid just can’t be helped.”_

_Sirius thought that was a terrible exaggeration. The beetle had just pulled into the parking space about two minutes earlier. There were people on this planet who needed more than two minutes to leave their car after driving. Because their phone was on the backseat, the purse had fallen under the passenger seat and the sunglasses were got knows where but definitely not where you had put them five minutes before. One of the reasons why Sirius preferred his motorbike: Necessity to be more or less organized about your stuff if you had only your leather jacket to stuff them into. The door of the yellow beetle – who on this planet voluntarily drove a yellow car? - opened and a slender boy appeared. He was about an inch shorter than the dark haired boy and appeared – fragile. Fragile was the only word that came to mind. His hair was light brown and the sun played on it, turning it to dark gold. A smile appeared on his face and Sirius noticed he was smiling too although the gesture wasn’t even directed at him. What was happening here? He lowered his eyes onto the book again, but Kerouac had lost some of his fascination._

_“Hey Moony!” exclaimed rodent-boy. “Guess what? The wall has finally fallen. The line has been breached. The enemy has surrendered.”_

_“What the heck do you mean, Peter?”_

_Sirius gaze flickered up again. The voice did match the picture perfectly. Warm, light, a little rough around the edges as if Moony – whatever his true name was – was a little hoarse._

_“Lily Evans has agreed to go on a date with me next Saturday,” the boy with the glasses explained and ruffled his hair._

_Moony beamed._

_“Astonishing. I thought she’d probably shoot you someday. Just to get rid of you and your advances.”_

_“You are taking the piss.”_

_“I am not taking the piss, James. I am just honest. I never thought you’d get her, because if I had been in her spot I’d have run off to the hills about a year ago. And going out with your stalking-stag, I am pretty sure that counts as minor Stockholm syndrome.”_

_“Major Stockholm syndrome, more like,” Peter chimed in. “But she just turned into a pound of goo after James sang to her.”_

_Moony started laughing. It was an adorable laugh. Sirius didn’t know many people who laughed in a truly adorable way. His brother usually went for the manly “hohoho”, which sounded a little bit like Regulus was possessed by Father Christmas. His best friend Tonks had the tendency to go for what Sirius called the “snoring pig”. She might be a beautiful girl and definitely had attractive features, but her laugh was the most comically unattractive thing one could imagine. Now, this strange boy with the golden hair, who looked as if he might be blown away by the next breeze because he was just so slender, laughed with an open, wide “hahaha” sound that just burst with happiness. Sirius noticed he had dropped the paperback and swore at himself under his breath for being so obvious. None of the boys had noticed him though, so no harm done. Unless he followed his primal instincts and just ran over to introduce himself and ask Moony – what a stupid nickname! – out on a date. Just his luck the boy was probably straight as could be and would be deeply offended. Nope. Better stay put. Pretend to be cool. Wait for Mercedes-ass to get his Benz out of the way so he could go for a three hour ride on the Suzuki until you can think clearly again._

_“You sang to her?”_

_“Peter, I told you not to tell anyone.”_

_“You **sang** to her?”_

_“He did. And it was just glorious!”_

_“What did you sing?”_

_“It doesn’t matter what I sang. It was a means to achieve my aim. The aim was achieved. End of story.”_

_“Follow Me.”_

_“What?”_

_“He sang ‘Follow Me’.”_

_“Am I right in assuming that you are referring to the Uncle Kracker song?”_

_“Can we change the subject?”_

_“No we can’t. This is hilarious. And she actually said yes? I always thought very highly of Lily, but if she said yes because you sang Uncle Kracker to her, I guess she must have gone insane.”_

_“It’s not that bad a choice.”_

_“It’s terrible.”_

_“Just because you only listen to Grunge…”_

_“I don’t only listen to Grunge.”_

_“Grunge and weird stuff…”_

_“James, this is not about my taste in music this is about the atrocious choice of ‘Follow Me’ as a courting song.”_

_“Guys… I don’t want to interrupt, but we kind of have training at six. Can we get into the car before we continue this conversation?”_

_“Shotgun.”_

_“James, you’re a prick.”_

_“I am a lucky hero who just won over the most beautiful girl in senior year.”_

_“Doesn’t make you any less of a prick.”_

_“Get in already!”_

_For a split second, Sirius thought Moony glanced his way. But he must have been mistaken. He definitely had been mistaken. And as the yellow beetle left the parking lot, he felt like a huge cloud had suddenly blocked out the sunlight._


	2. Take Me Out

“ **Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road.”  
― Jack Kerouac, On the Road **

 

_ Four Years Later _

 

Excerpt from Sirius’ Black’s diary

Excellent start. Not. Tonks set the flat on fire… okay, no, I am exaggerating. But she killed the toaster and I swear my hair still smells of burnt toast. Called her by her first name the whole day and she got mad as a cat, because now everybody here knows. Not sorry at all. They’d have found out soon enough. And she’ll love me forever anyways.

So. After bureaucracy got the better of me in the last weeks and I thought this would never happen, I actually have everything sorted and the move is over and both Miss Burnt-Toast and me are officially enrolled in the first semester of our Masters. I am quite impressed by how we survived the last three years between being ridiculously drunk (mainly Tonks), ridiculously stupid (Regulus) and ridiculously broke (me!).

Well, at least I won’t have to worry about my brother any more. He’s decided it’s time to seek employment in the real world so he can be stupid away from academia. Also, he has to earn money now that he is a dad, I guess. Note for myself: Always have condoms at hand, even if you decided you would just go to the party for a few hours and not drink much. Things happen. Hormones happen. And then ovaries and sperm cells happen and suddenly – bang – there’s your youth gone down the gutter and you need to be all responsible, because you fucking fathered a child. Literally fucking. 

I am ridiculously bad at keeping this habit of writing a diary up… and I need to go now because there’s the semester-start party happening and Tonks doesn’t want to go alone (translate: needs someone to carry her home in her intoxicated state later).

 

 

_ ~I am doing this for James and Peter. I am doing this for James and Peter and I am going to have a good time although they are probably going to play terrible music the whole night and people will be drinking and sort-of-dancing on the dancefloor and it’s going to be too loud to have a conversation but they will try to have a conversation anyway and I won’t be able to understand them and give stupid answers…~ _

 

 

“ _Stop fretting!”_

“ _I am not fretting!”_

“ _You are fretting, you are the king of fretting, Moony. Just relax. It’s gonna be fine. It’s a party, not an exam.”_

“ _You know I wouldn’t be fretting if this was an exam.”_

“ _Admittedly yes. Lily is still gutted you actually beat her for best overall grade in our year.”_

“ _She’s got an honours as well.”_

“ _But less points.”_

“ _As if anyone on this planet would ever be interested how many damned points you had in your Bachelor’s.”_

_ James had picked Remus up at his new student accommodation – which did not really differ from the last one apart from the fact that the room was even tinier and there was a house-cat which was lovely and big and black and had already befriended Remus.  _

_ Remus was happy he had been able to stay in Edinburgh for his Master’s degree. He loved the city. The old sandstone houses and the smell. Depending on where the wind came from you either go the stench of the brewery or the aerosols from the sea. Remus liked that everything was more or less close together. He loved the lazy days at the beach, the hikes onto Arthur’s seat and the long nights in one of the local pubs.  They’d taken the shortcut through the meadows and headed up to Teviot. There was a queue in front of Potterow and Remus sighed. _

“ _James, do you think it’s rather cold?”_

_ Both boys were wearing jeans, T-shirts, zipped hoodies and jackets. James always made an effort to achieve the “bad boy gone philosopher” look and failed by margins. His tweed jacket didn’t really sit properly on his frame and the leather boots were a touch too chic to be cool. Remus didn’t make an effort to achieve anything. His leather jacket had scratches all over it and looked worn-out because it was exactly that. He would have to get a new one at some point. His trainers were simple and also had seen better days. And still, a lot of eyes were fixed on the pair as they approached and almost as many lingered on Remus’ lean frame as were caught by James’ messy hair.  _

“ _I think it’s just a very normal October night in Scotland. So yeah, it’s not exactly warm. Why?”_

“ _Because I sometimes wonder when I see all of these girls wearing – well, hardly anything. I mean, look at that. What is that? Is that a dress? It’s like a long tight hose made of fabric and it just covers the most important… oh God no, she just bent over.”_

“ _Deep insights?”_

“ _Things I never wanted to see.”_

“ _Because you just don’t go for girls. Otherwise you’d just enjoy the show.”_

_ Remus blushed and elbowed his friend. There had never been any discussion between the boys concerning Remus sexual interests. He had never said anything about them. Yet James and Peter had safely assumed from a very young age that their friend showed such a lack of interest when it came to the opposite sex that he just had to be gay. Remus had left them in that belief – as they didn’t really care any way. But he wasn’t so sure. Even though he had never preyed on girls the way that other boys did didn’t mean he wasn’t interested. He had liked girls. He had also liked boys. He still had to find out whether there was a distinct difference between the way he felt towards one or the other.  _

_ They walked up to the end of the queue. A pink-haired girl who was surprisingly well-dressed was standing in front of them. She was wearing a violet skirt that went down to right above her knees and a black top above which she had draped a leather jacket that was as worn-out as Remus’ and about three sizes to big for her. Remus assumed she must have borrowed it from her boyfriend. She noticed his glance and turned around with a huge smile on her face, a smile that made Remus feel like he had indeed done too much fretting in the last few hours. _

_ “Hi. I am Tonks.” _

_ He shook the hand that she held out. _

“ _Remus. And this tosser here is James, who is just staring off into the distance to see his love approaching who has promised to join us in the queue.”_

“ _Pleased to meet you. Oh, is that her?”_

“ _The red-head who is making cooing noises whilst showing off her skills in high-heeled short-skirted running? Yes that’s her. Hi Lily, can you two postpone snogging for a second? This is Tonks. Now you can go ahead. You wouldn’t believe they’ve been a couple for almost four years now, would you? It’s quite disgusting. So, Tonks, how come I’ve never seen you anywhere before? I mean, this is a small city and I am pretty sure I’d recall your hair.”_

“ _Oh...”_

“ _Don’t look embarrassed, it’s quite unique and lovely and it suits you. So. Are you new here?”_

_ She nodded.  _

“ _We moved here from Sheffield last week. It’s been a bit of a last-minute thing for Sirius. They took ages to get his last grades into the system and he was on a conditional offer until the last minute. So he’s quite relieved. And I am as well. Means I still have my best friend with me for the next few years.”_

_ Remus noticed she said “best friend” instead of “boyfriend”. So was Sirius, the owner of that motorcycle-jacket she was wearing – actually not her partner? And had she brought that up on purpose, to make him understand she was unattached? He probably was over-thinking things. Peter had told him that he always over-thought things. He spared a moment’s thought for Peter, who was in the hospital after  he’d almost been run over by a Lothian Bus on North Bridge – which had been entirely Peter’s fault, who blamed it all on the five pints of Lager he had drunk that night.  _

_ The queue moved a few steps forward just when Tonks’ eyes widened.  _

“ _Pad, you’re a lifesaver!” she screamed happily and held her hands out to accept a huge chicken-burger._

“ _I know. I am quite amazing”, said her friend._

_ Remus was frozen in place. The guy who had handed Tonks the burger was the most gorgeous man he had ever seen in his life. Literally. He was the boy from the parking lot. There was no doubt of that. But how was it possible that there paths should cross like that again? Was it chance? Was it destiny? It had just been a few seconds, a glance, a blip in time. Nothing more. But it had changed Remus’ life although he had never admitted it to anyone, never even spoken to anyone about it. He had never mentioned the encounter to James or Peter and they had never said anything to him about it. He was almost sure they had not even noticed the onlooker that day. But Remus had noticed.  And he knew that this was not a hallucination or just some guy who looked incredibly similar to the boy from back then. He had aged, they all had. He was a man now, stubble growing on his chin and cheeks. The hair was still as long and unruly as it had been back then though. And his stance was the same as well, that self-confident swagger which made it look as if he was mocking the whole world. He wore black jeans, black boots and a grey button-down shirt with the upper two buttons open and the hem tucked in. A shiny silver belt-buckle showed a wolf howling at the moon. _

“ _Say hello to Remus”, Tonks ordered, unawares of Remus’ peril._

“ _Ah yeah. Hi I am…”  
_

_ Their eyes met and Remus saw the other man do a double take. His lips formed a word. Remus wasn’t entirely sure what it was, until Sirius repeated it again, a little louder. _

“ _Moony.”_

_ Tonks frowned. _

“ _This is Remus, Sirius. Whatever they gave you out there, it probably wasn’t good stuff.”_

_ Sirius shook his head and managed a smile, shrugging his self-confidence back on and grabbing Remus’ hand sending a thousand electric volts running up his arm. _

“ _Sorry, my bad. I thought... for a second I thought...” his eyes wandered to James and Remus saw that he recognized him as well._

“ _I’m Sirius. Nice to meet you, Remus.”_

_ It took them about fifteen minutes in the queue to get inside. After Tonks had wolfed down her burger in what seemed like seconds, she entertained Remus with the story of the dead toaster. Sirius chimed in from time to time. Remus noticed that not for a single second did the other man’s eyes wander away from his face and he felt a blush rise in his cheeks. Thankfully it was already dark and the street lamps did not give off enough light to make it obvious. _

_ They went inside. The dance floor was crowded. The music was not as awful as expected – although that did not mean it was good, it was barely adequate and Remus felt in the mood to tolerate a lot after he had just run into what he had feared had just been a product of his imagination. James and Lily accompanied him to the bar and he ordered a ginger beer. When he turned around he saw Tonks and Sirius on the dancefloor. They moved in perfect unison. Years of practice, Remus assumed. It became obvious by watching them, though, that they were really just friends. They moved flirtatiously around each other and laughed their heads off whilst doing it. They radiated with the light of pure comfort. Remus assumed that he shared a similar aura with James and Peter sometimes. When James had seen one of the guys from his course and gone to say hello, Lily leaned over to Remus. _

“ _So... who is that boy?”_

“ _What boy?”_

“ _That boy. The long-haired Prince of Darkness who is dancing with the Queen of Cupkakes.”_

“ _What makes you think I am watching the Prince and not the Queen.”_

“ _I just know.”_

“ _Everyone assumes they know. And I keep telling you I don’t know myself.”_

_ “You will get there. Also: You are changing the subject. Who is that man?” _

_ Of all the people in his acquaintance, Lily was the one whom he could talk to the easiest. She had a way to make him feel understood. She just listened. Sometimes he wondered what he would have felt for her if it hadn’t been clear from the beginning that she was James’ girl or nobody’s girl. So how could he explain to her that Sirius had haunted his dreams for years and years since he had once caught a glance at him at a parking lot in Coventry? How could he explain that for some reason Sirius’ image, how he had leaned against that Mercedes, waiting for the car holder to free his motorbike, had been branded into his memory. How could he say any of this without sounding completely bonkers? _

“ _I... he’s an old acquaintance.”_

“ _That sounds lame.”_

“ _It is lame.”_

“ _You will have to tell me someday.”_

“ _I will tell you when there’s no music to distract my thoughts.”_

“ _You are weird, Remus. In a good way. Oh look. Cupcake is waving at you. She wants you to dance.”_

“ _I don’t dance.”_

“ _You do dance. I know you do. Everyone knows you do.”_

“ _But not like this... I don’t dance at clubs.”_

“ _Guess what, tonight you will.”_

_ And with the sweetest smile, Lily took his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor. Her red hair reflected the colourful light spots that played through the room. Lily in determined mood was nobody you wanted to cross, so he followed her towards Tonks and Sirius.  _

 

Excerpt from Sirius Black’s Diary

And of course she waved him over and James’ girlfriend Lily pulled him onto the dancefloor and there he was. Looked quite unhappy at first, but not due to the fact that he can’t or won’t dance. Man that guy knows how to move. You would never think so from his figure, but everything just looks so smooth when he dances. So Tonks got us Cider and there was music – although mostly atrocious music, I admit that much. And I might have been a bit drunk at some point. I was just so nervous. I mean, how do you cope with this? He’s been in my head for years. And now he’s there, standing inches away and he’s gorgeous and sweet and I am scared shitless because I don’t know what will happen. I have this whole story in my head, this whole weird idea. And I am so afraid that imagination and reality will just collide and form a black hole and pull everything under now.

A bit after midnight, we were still on the dance floor. Lily had been joined by James so the two of them were in some outer space and Tonks had somehow managed to get tangled up in a guy whom I wouldn’t have touched with tweezers. Sooo much hair-product. Had to be a tosser. But no worries, I disentangled her and got her home safe and sound. 

But yeah, there we were, Remus... still can’t get that name into my head. Moony and me then. And the DJ decided that it was high time to play some Franz Ferdinand to the crowds. As I said, I had been drinking. I don’t know if I would have been able to do this if I had been sober. So I actually started dancing with Remus, instead of just next to him and he didn’t pull away, but he looked so – I don’t know. Something between surprised and embarrassed. He waved good-bye close after... So have I scared him away now? Probably have. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Oh I hear Tonks moaning. The tiger has risen. I guess I better get her some Aspirin and some orange juice to cure the hangover.


	3. Lucy in the Sky - With Diamonds

“ **What if I were smiling and running into your arms? Would you see then what I see now?”  
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild **

 

“ _Morning, Sweety.”_

“ _God... give me that. I feel like I have been run over by a tractor. And a squirrel climbed into my mouth and died there."_

 _  
_“ _Urgh.”_

“ _Yep. That. And I thank you for not letting me go with the sleeky haired bastard.”_

“ _Pleasure.”_

“ _You’re the best big brother I never had.”_

“ _You are the craziest little sister I never had.”  
_

“ _And... you found the magic boy, didn’t you? Remus? He’s the guy with the yellow Beetle, isn’t he? Took me a bit to get it. But your reaction... Sirius – star-struck.”_

“ _Sirius completely befuddled more like.”_

_ “So what next?” _

“ _What do you mean?”_

“ _Pad, you just met the man of your dreams, the boy you’ve been thinking of for years. You have filled BOOKS with thoughts about him. You must have a plan what you want to do now that the spectre has revealed itself to be a human being of flesh and blood.”_

“ _Admittedly, Tonks, I have no clue. I have no idea what I should do. I don’t even know if I should do anything. This is scary as hell.”_

_ Tonks gulped down the rest of her orange juice and pushed back a strand of unruly pink hair. She wore one of Sirius’ old black T-shirts that had holes along the neckline and a pair of boxers that showed off her shapely legs. Her eyes still showed signs of the late night, but she was already recovering. Tonks was a miracle. She could get over a hangover in an hour, when other people needed half a day to sober up. She looked at him with her signature frown on her face, but nodded understandingly. _

“ _I get it. You’ve seen this boy once and turned him into a fictional character. You put that character on a pedestal and made him everything you ever wanted in life and more, the image of your longing, the personification of everything that makes you click. And now you’re afraid the actual Moony won’t be quite so perfect. I’m not going to lie to you Sirius: It’s unlikely he will be all of the things you imagined he would be. He will be different in many ways. But that doesn’t make him worse. I think he’s a lovely guy from what I gathered yesterday. And he recognized you. I saw that he did. That’s already a good – no a miraculous sign. Because nobody remembers someone they only saw once at a parking lot. Except for Sirius Black, who dreams too big to fit into this world. And now, Remus Lupin. I think you should give this a shot. Find out who he truly is.”_

“ _That’s a long and philosophical speech for a Saturday Morning.”_

“ _I am a girl full of surprises.”_

“ _You are mental.”_

“ _Would I be living with you if I wasn’t?”_

“ _Do you need anything from Tesco’s? I’ve got training later and will go grocery-shopping on the way back.”_

“ _Are you trying to change the subject so you don’t have to talk about Remus any more?”_

“ _I am asking you whether you need anything from Tesco’s. I will think about the Remus-situation during training. I... I might have scared him off anyways.”_

" _You mean because of the dancing?”_

“ _Why are you laughing?”_

“ _Because you don’t know a thing about people, Pad. The way that boy looked at you – if we lived in a cartoon world, there’d have been hearts in his eyes.”_

“ _So why did he run off?”_

“ _No clue. Guess you’ll have to find out when you meet him again.”_

“ _But... I might never meet him again.”_

“ _He’s at law school and lives in Pollock Halls. You will meet him again. Because you have an amazing best friend called Tonks who asks the right questions and remembers the answers even after having had way too much cider.”_

 

_ ~ Sun. Why is there sun. And what is that wet thing... oh hello cat, how are you today? What time is it? Ah, still early. So I didn’t accidentally sleep through half of the weekend. Is that James singing in the shower? The walls in this building should be solid, Why can I hear James sing in the shower? And who told him that “Lucy in the Sky” is a good song to wake people up with? Now that will be stuck in my head the whole day. Grand. Something happened last night... Sirius! Oh my God. Sirius. The boy from the parking lot. And Tonks. Tonks was nice. And Sirius... I can’t believe he lives here now. At Tollcross, Tonks said. Shared flat. And he called me Moony. He remembered.~ _

_ Sirius was gutted. Somebody – probably a fresher, because only freshers could be so moronic – had vomited over the Suzuki. If he ever found out who it had been, that someone would never vomit again. Nor eat, nor sleep, nor breathe. He’d decided to ride to training and go down to the beach on the bike afterwards (and pick up the groceries on the way home – Morrison’s was much cheaper than Tesco’s anyways) just to find the machine in a state of distress. Luckily, he’d been early for training, so he had decided to thoroughly clean the Marauder. No way he was going to leave it standing there all dirty and disgusting. When the black varnish spotlessly reflected the autumn sun again, he felt much better already – although he still hated people. He tossed a heap of kitchen paper into the next bin, then put on his helmet and kicked the motorcycle to life. It roared happily and a grin stole onto his face. Good baby. Let’t go for a ride, shall we? _

_ It turned out he was not the only boy who had showed up for trials for the university rugby team. When he entered the boy’s changing room a familiar face greeted him from across the room. _

“ _Hey there. Sirius, isn’t it?”_

“ _Yeah.”_

“ _So you’re into Rugby?”_

“ _Have played my fair share.”_

“ _Welcome to the lion’s den then. Be prepared to meet our trainer. She may be tiny, but she’s fierce. All tremble before her. You probably heard the name Minerva McGonagall before? She used to play for Scotland in the women’s team.”_

“ _Wow. I guess, it’s going to be tough.”_

“ _We’re all going to die from exhaustion by the end of the training session, but last year she got us into the finals so nobody complains.”_

_ Training was intense. Both James and Sirius used up their weekly quota of swear words in less than half an hour.  Their shirts clung to their bodies, soaked in sweat and they panted from all of the running and jumping and doing push-ups.  _

“ _Guess McGonagall’s had another run-in with the male authorities.”_

“ _Bet she did. Bet they didn’t survive though.”_

“ _Do you think she strangled them?”_

“ _Probably. Or shouted at them until they just combusted into little heaps of ashes and shame.”_

“ _Sad way to die.”_

“ _There are worse fates.”_

“ _For example?”_

“ _Somebody threw up over my motorbike last night. I have about five alternate scenarios that would all make spontaneous combustion look like a nice death.”_

“ _Ohhhh. May they rot in hell for eternity. Anything bad?”_

“ _Didn’t hit the leather of the seat. And no scratches in the paint, so she’s good as new again. But still...”_

“ _I hear you, Sirius.”_

 

_ Remus had decided to pay a visit to Peter, who was still in hospital. After a visit of about an hour in which he tried to cheer up his friend, who already felt much better and was mainly in danger of dying from boredom, he decided to go down to the beach and enjoy the sunshine. October was usually a good month around here, as summer seemed to make a last effort while autumn already coloured the leaves on the trees in all shades of red and yellow. _

_ When he parked his ride in front of the Espy, he noticed an impressive machine standing in the parking lot already. He walked up to the Marauder and took a closer look. His concentration was so taken up by the bike that the voice behind him made him jump. _

“ _So, you’ve given up the yellow Beetle for an oldtimer bike, I see?”_

_ Sirius black came walking down to him, a cone topped with two balls of ice cream in his hand, black hair tied back, black leather jacket over ripped jeans and a t-shirt that had seen better days. _

“ _Umm. Hi Sirius. Ah. Yeah, actually I owned the SR before I had the Beetle... and it outlived the car. Peter killed the car in our second year of uni. Team effort. Peter and a delivery truck.”_

“ _You don’t sound unhappy about it.”_

“ _I was quite unhappy about it. But I was more worried about Peter than about the Beetle at the time, so that kind of gave it some perspective. I’m... it’s nice to see you.”_

_ Sirius fidgeted for a second and Remus got the impression that he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t quite sure how to handle the situation. _

“ _Do you... it’s such a nice evening. I... I just got some ice cream at the Espy and was thinking about walking down that way for a bit.”_

_ Sirius indicated the direction towards Mussleburgh and Remus smiled. _

“ _Not a bad idea. If you wait a second, I’ll get some ice cream, too and we can walk together. That is – if you want to. I can show you the Dalriada. It’s a pub. They have live music on Sundays. I sometimes go there with Lily. She can play the fiddle quite nicely.”_

_ Sirius smiled. _

“ _I’d like that. Walking together, I mean. And the pub sounds good. Lily’s the red-head?”_

“ _Yes. James’ girlfriend.”_

_ Sirius nodded. _

“ _She’s nice. I think.”_

_ Remus bought two balls of ice cream at the corner window of the Espy as well. He noticed how intently Sirius was watching him and looked up questioningly. _

“ _What?”_

“ _You know how there’s two kinds of people when it comes to ice cream? The ones that take the milky sorts, like chocolate, vanilla, stracciatella... and the fruity people who take strawberry, blueberry, melon... I always thought you’d be the milk-type. And I am just pleased I got that right.”_

_ Remus started laughing and pointed at Sirius’ cone. _

“ _So what type are you?”_

“ _Milk. With one exception.”_

“ _What’s the exception.”_

“ _You’ll find out – someday.”_

_ They walked along the promenade for a bit until both had finished their ice cream. Then, Sirius jumped on the low wall that seperated the beach from the walkway. He looked down at Remus with a questioning look.  _

“ _Wanna stay up here and weave through all of the children’s buggies or wanna join me and walk along the waterline?”_

_ He held out his hand. For a second, Remus hesitated, but then accepted it and let the taller boy pull him up. They jumped down on the other side in one fluent simultaneous motion and landed in the soft, dry sand. It was a bit hard to walk through it until they had reached the part of the beach that had been touched by the retreating tide and was compact enough to not let them sink in at every step. Sirius led the way until the waves almost touched his leather boots. Down here, the noise of Portobello High Street was drowned by the crashing of the waves. The air smelled of salt and seaweed. There were seagulls everywhere. And except for an old lady walking her dog who happily ran after a ball she kept throwing here and there, no other people were in sight. _

_ After a few minutes of silence, Sirius finally addressed his companion again. _

“ _So. You remembered.”_

“ _The parking lot? Yes I did. It’s a bit weird, I admit that much.”_

_ Sirius shook his head. _

“ _Not that weird,” he replied. “I remembered as well.”_

_ But how much detail did you remember? Remus wondered if it would scare Sirius if he knew that Remus even remembered the book he’d been reading. Jack Kerouac. On the Road.  _

“ _Why do James and Peter call you Moony?”_

“ _Ah, yeah, you remembered that.”_

“ _Well, they called you by name about half a dozen times and it was odd enough to be memorable.”_

_ Remus laughed a little. _

“ _I sleepwalk”, he explained. “It gets worse when the moon is full. I once woke up in James’ bed when we were on holiday together and didn’t know how I got there. It was a little awkward. Next thing I knew I was christened Moony and it has stayed with me ever since.”_

_ Sirius bent down to pick up a shell and examined its regular shape in the golden light of the sinking sun, then absentmindedly put it in his jacket pocket, before looking at Remus again. Remus noticed that he had grey eyes, the colour of rainclouds before the storm. They seemed to pull him in. Like a maelstrom pulling down a ship. Down, down, down... _

_ A wave crashed onto the beach and the water washed over his trainers, drenching his socks and his feet.  _

“ _Damned,” Remus mumbled._

“ _Come on,” Sirius said and started walking again. “You wanted to show me a pub.”_

 

A./N.: Thank you so much for reading! This is like the first time I am trying my hands at Wolfstar. It's very different from my usual stuff as well and I don't know how well I will handle it but I hope you'll keep liking it.

@YeahYeah: I know that some people hate italics, but I quite like italics. Also, the choice is between italics for "normal" text and italics for Sirius' diary. ;-)

@moomin4455: Thank you! Hope you enjoy where this is going.

@theFearTakesHold: Tonks had to be in this. I love Tonks a lot. She's a great character and I think her and Sirius kind of work as friends very well.

Side-Facts: Just in case anyone is interested. Sirius drives a Suzuki Marauder 125 in this story (if I ever have the money, I want one of those), Remus drives a Yamaha SR500. Not really relevant for the plot, but if you want a proper image to fit the one I am working with, these are the models you want to Google. Oh and there's really a house cat in Pollock Halls. At least it still lived there a few years ago. I hope it still does. Generally: In terms of time-frame, the current events take place in 2004. Finally: This might be the last installment before easter, because I am heading over to the UK for a few days.


	4. Wannabe

**The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly, Roy. Look at you: you're the Prodigal Son; you're quite a prize! - from “Blade Runner”**

 

_They had reached the spot where the beach was divided by a wooden fence, mainly constructed to keep the tide from carrying off too much sand. As the water was quite low, it was possible to climb over the construction – or crawl under it, which would have looked undignified and therefore was out of the question. Remus watched Sirius pull himself up onto the obstacle with the ease of someone who is quite used to physical exercise. Then he noticed the wince that escaped the other boy’s lips. He followed him with a move that was less strength and more technique and used the momentum of a tiny jump to propel him sidewards and up, before he asked what the matter was. Sirius sighed and massaged his shoulder._

“ _Probably strained it a bit during training today. I got into the rugby team. I met your friend James as well.”_

_Remus couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at this revelation. James had bumped into Sirius before him – and he’d see him twice a week from now on which was so much more than Remus could ever hope for._

“ _By the way. You do sports as well, don’t you?”_

“ _What makes you think that?”_

“ _Posture, mainly. The way you move. A lot of things.”_

“ _I dance – it depends on your attitude whether that counts as a sport or not.”_

_Sirius lifted an eyebrow, then smiled._

“ _Of course it counts,” he said with a grin and began balancing along the wooden structure back towards the promenade._

_Remus would have given a fortune to know what the other boy was thinking. Usually people asked what kind of dancing he did or voiced their problem with combining that hobby with the motorcycle -love. Sometimes they blurted out how much of a gay cliché he was. Sirius didn’t do any of that. He looked very thoughtful though. Remus suddenly felt panic rise in his chest._

_What if his dancing did not fit whatever picture Sirius had drawn of him in his mind? What if it was a deal-breaker? Well what if it WAS a deal-breaker? They didn’t really know each other, did they?_

_His phone buzzed and he took a quick glance at the display. Lily. He opened the text message._

# Remus, where are you? We wanted to go shopping today, remember?

# God yes, I remember now. Sorry I completely forgot. And I can’t make it. I am at Portobello.

_He hesitated for a second before adding_

# with Sirius

_The response came almost instantly._

# Dinner at my place tonight. No discussion. 8 pm.

_Remus couldn’t help but smile. When he put the phone away again, he met Sirius’ gaze._

“ _I’d love to know whose message made you so happy right now,” the dark-haired boy teased him._

“ _Lily, actually.”_

“ _Ah. Best friend?”_

“ _Kind of. Yeah. It used to be awkward when James was still stalking her instead of dating her properly. Being friends with them both is easier now that they are a couple.”_

“ _Can imagine. Tonks never had a boyfriend – or stalker – I knew. So I haven’t had the pleasure of experiencing this first-hand.”_

“ _Not really an experience worth having.”_

_They walked back up to the promenade and Remus got them both a glass of coke before they sat down outside the Dalriada. The sea crashed against the shore and there were almost no families at this end of the beach. Sirius raised his glass in a mocking toast and clinked it against Remus’, his eyes firmly fixed on the slightly shorter man._

“ _To weird circumstances, I guess.”_

“ _To the driver of that Mercedes,” Remus chimed in before biting his lip for letting slip he remembered that detail about their first encounter._

_Sirius’ eyes widened slightly but he didn’t comment on it._

 

 

“ _So you accidentally both decided to ride your motorbikes to Portobello beach?”_

“ _Seems like it.”_

“ _Boy, you’re like – star-crossed lovers or something. It’s not normal that kind of thing keeps happening to you.”_

“ _I know. It’s weird.”_

“ _It’s the perfect romance.”_

“ _Except it’s not.”_

“ _Why are you so sceptical?”_

“ _Why are you so optimistic? I mean, yes, we kind of met before. But – I assumed I would never meet him in person so he became that ideal character in my head and – well he is an actual human being. A breathing entity who might not function at all like the imaginary boyfriend who by accident wears his face.”_

“ _There is no such thing as accident in this world. Not when it comes to matters of the heart.”_

“ _You read too many novels.”_

“ _And you don’t read enough. Are you seriously considering giving this thing up without trying?”_

“ _Am I... I am scared, but not stupid!”_

“ _So?”_

“ _So... He might have asked for my number after I told him I was texting you and would be meeting you for dinner.”_

“ _How?”_

“ _What?”_

“ _How did he ask, doofus?”_

“ _Something along the lines of ‘So when you’re back from Lily’s... would you... I mean... we could talk some more... or text... later... when you’re back.’ Took him a while to get it out with all the detours and half sentences.”_

“ _He’s just as scared as you are.”_

“ _Yeah. And it makes it worse. It make it terrifying.”_

“ _But he asked.”_

“ _Yes.”_

“ _And you’ll text him later. I know you won’t call him. You hate talking on the phone.”_

“ _Guess so.”_

“ _If you don’t text him, my wrath will be much more terrifying than any of this.”_

 

 

Excerpt from Sirius Black’s diary:

 

So short summary of the day. My bike was vomited on last night. I got into the rugby team. James Potter is our team leader and our trainer is none other than Minerva McGonagall. Gonna be impossibly fit at the end of the semester.

Finally: I MET REMUS/MOONY! By chance! At Portobello beach. And we ended up walking and talking and he’s got an old motorcycle that’s clearly been self-mended and we had ice-cream and coke and I might just be a little overwhelmed by all of this. He’s fit. He dances. Doesn’t want to say what type of dance. In comparison to him I feel clumsy like a bull in a china shop. He’s slightly shorter than me. In my imagination he was taller, but I guess his lean frame makes him look elongated or something.

Very important bit: I asked for his number. No idea how I managed that and why but I also asked him to text me tonight after he’s had dinner with Lily. So... I guess from about 10 pm I will be reduced to the-boy-who-stares-at-his-phone and I will feel stupid if he just doesn’t text.

Tonks says I am panicking too much over this. But she can’t grasp the dimension of weirdness this presents for me. This is fucking insane!

 

 

# Hey

# Oh. Hey.

# You sound – surprised.

# I don’t sound at all. I am writing text messages. If they sound like anything, you should probably switch the noise of your phone off.

# Means you intend there to be messages plural that might lead to phone-noise annoying me?

# Masterly interpreted!

# I am a genius, sometimes.

# So how was dinner?

# Good. Not burnt. Not too much salt. She’s improving. And I wasn’t even there to help.

# For some reason, I assumed Lily was one of these girls who can do anything. Like any ‘male’ tasks like DIY repairs but also all that domestic stuff that traditionally used to be carried out by females.

# She’s an excellent baker, but a poor cook. Says you can only be passionate about one of them. Might have a point. I prefer baking, too.

# I cook. I never bake.

# Brilliant, so you can make the main course and I can make the dessert.

# Umm.

# Sorry. That came out quite differently than I intended.

# ?

# That sounded incredibly flirty, but I was really just thinking practically.

# How can anyone owning an SR500 think practically?

# Touché.

# I liked the implication. We should make dinner some time? Or lunch. Is lunch less awkward for a start?

# I think lunch sounds very sensible.

# Lunch. When?

# I don’t know. What are you up to tomorrow?

# Family. Don’t even ask!

# Family = Bad Topic?

# Horrifying topic.

# Ok. Not asking.

# Next week. Saturday?

# Works for me. Late lunch though. I have training before.

# Okay. An dietary requirements?

# I am vegan, lactose-intolerant and I hate tomatoes.

# God...

# And I am joking of course. I am a good old omnivore. Anything except milk-rice.

# Another ‘don’t ask’ thing?

# Not really. Just never liked it.

# Not even as a kid?

# Nope. Consistency put me off. Too slimey.

# Good. Not making milk-rice for dessert then.

# Saturday?

# Saturday

# I am wondering whether there’s any way of saying ‘it’s friggin long til Saturday’ without sounding like I am coming on to you or I am needy.

# There isn’t. But Saturday is indeed long.

# A full week.

# Too long.

# What are you doing tomorrow? Family’s not a full-day thing.

# Not much. Training in the afternoon. Free from 5 pm.

# Training on a Sunday?

# It’s a tough life.

# So. Evening?

# Yeah.

# What do we do?

# I don’t know. I’d love to talk to you some more.

# Yeah. Me too.

# Idea: Meet me in front of the National Museum, okay?

# Okay.

# It was great seeing you today.

# I... it’s great seeing you like... for real... anyway.

# Can also be weird, though.

# Yeah.

# Tomorrow?

# Tomorrow.

# Sleep tight, Sirius.

# Sleep tight, Remus.

 

 

“ _If you ever sing anything by the Spice Girls under the shower again...”_

“ _So tell me what you want, what you really, really want... so tell me something, Sirius Black: Did my sleepy pre-shower self perceive correctly that you just decided to go on a second date one day after your first?”_

“ _It's not a date and yesterday wasn't one either. Yesterday was a chance encounter.”_

“ _Well, it must have been nice if you want to repeat it.”_

“ _Yeah, it was very nice.”_

“ _So, can you stop being a weirdo about it now?”_

“ _I don't know yet. I don't know enough about him to be conclusive.”_

“ _Then I am in favour of this not-date tonight and hope you get to the conclusiveness quickly.”  
_

_“I am still worried.”_

“ _I have a hunch why that is so.”_

“ _And that would be?”_

“ _I have known you for a long time. I know how you meet new people. You play a role. You try to... I don't know... put on a mask.”_

“ _What do you mean?”_

“ _Well. You probably told Remus about the rugby?”_

“ _I did.”_

“ _And about the motorcycle?”  
“Didn't have to. He was examining it, when I bumped into him.”_

“ _Have you told him about anything else?”_

“ _Like?”_

“ _Music. Did you speak to him about music?”_

“ _No. It... it didn't really come up.”  
“You are blushing. There would have been an option where you could have dropped it, right?”_

“ _He told me Lily plays the fiddle.”_

“ _And you neither asked whether he plays anything as well nor told him you do.”_

“ _No.”_

“ _See. Mask. Your mask says 'handsome, long-haired, slightly mysterious manly rocker-guy'. All of which isn't wrong in itself. It just omits a lot of vital information and it paints your character very one-dimensional.”_

“ _But I can't... just... tell him about that stuff.”  
“What about 'yes you can!'. And if he doesn't fall madly in love with you when he gets to know the real Sirius, he's not worth it anyway. But believe me, I am a woman, I have instincts. And my instinct tells me he's going to fall for you so hard...”_

“ _I am going to make you wash the dishes for the next three years if you're wrong about this._

“ _Not wrong. So yeah. You're on. There's no danger for me in this.”_

 

 

_A./N.: Thaaaank you to everybody who reads along with this. I hope you like my Remus and Sirius and stay with me for a bit. I actually have a little bit more of this pre-written per hand due to having a bit of a writing fit during my holiday. But it will mainly go with the flow so I have still no real clue where this is going._

 


	5. The Highway

**_“He never thought that she saw in him what no one else could see. He never thought that in the whole world there were no other eyes that looked upon him with the same light and strength as hers.”_ **

**_(Charles Dickens, Little Dorrit)_ **

 

_Remus was a little bit stressed out. Not just a little bit. A whole lot. A damned whole lot. His mood had deteriorated from positively excited to almost-panicky over the last couple of hours and if Lily had not been there after training to keep him company, he’d probably have curled up under his bed after showering and come up with some lame excuse why he couldn’t make it. But when the time came, he made his way up to Forest Road and down to the National museum. A bus of Chinese tourists seemed to have landed in front of the statue of Greyfriar’s bobby and they were taking pictures of the memorial to the faithful little Terrier. The weather was nasty. After it had been sunny til midday, grey clouds had gathered over the city and it was pouring quite profusely. Remus checked his watch. Five minutes early. That was okay, he guessed. He would just take a seat on the steps that led up to the museum’s entrance and wait._

“ _Ah, there you are! I’ve been waiting for ages.”_

_Sirius Black, clad in dark jeans and his thick leather jacket, walked up to him with his usual confident stride. He had pulled back his hair into a pony tail but a few curly locks had escaped and hung into his face._

“ _I hope you’re not planning a hike up Arthur’s Seat in this weather.”_

_Remus grinned._

“ _Not today. But it’s on the list of things you have to do when you live in Edinburgh.”_

“ _We could do that next week”, Sirius suggested, then looked up at the clouds, “weather permitting.”_

_Remus smiled. That meant there would be lunch and then there would be hiking… it seemed as if Sirius was almost as eager as him to meet more often._

“ _Been in the museum before?” he asked._

_Sirius negated and Remus smile became wider._

“ _Get set, you’re up for a treat.”_

_They walked into the main doors and Sirius frowned._

“ _You know that they close at five, right?”_

_Remus smiled._

“ _I worked here for a few years. I know everything. I also know Milly there. Hi Milly.”_

_A stout dark-haired girl in the museum’s uniform greeted them with a wide smile._

“ _You must be Sirius,” she said and held out her hand to shake the dark haired man’s enthusiastically._

“ _Okay, Remus, you know the drill,” she continued. “You can leave your stuff down here, because I am personally going to shut those doors in five minutes. When you leave, use the main switch as always. The cleaner’s are coming at 10pm or something, because we switched the company and they couldn’t do mornings. So be out before then. Security’s been told we have a special guest thing going on. They probably won’t come in before the cleaners, but if you bump into Jeff say hello from me.”_

_She watched other museum staff usher the last regular guests out and then nodded._

“ _All yours,” she smiled. “Have fun!”_

_Remus grinned and motioned for Sirius to follow him up the stairs._

“ _Oh,” Sirius commented when they emerged into the wide white glass hall._

“ _One of my favourite places in the whole city,” Remus explained. “When the sun is shining, it’s almost to bright in here to see properly. And even when it’s as rainy as today...”_

“ _It’s beautiful,” Sirius finished his sentence and gaped openly._

_The floor consisted of marble tiles. A metal construction had been erected to carry the domed roof and three rows of balconys from which you could enter different parts of the exhibition. The architecture strongly resembled the one used in green houses or the crystal palace at the Great Exhibition in Victorian times. Remus had loved it from the first time he’d set foot in it._

_He took a step forward as if to walk towards the exhibition entrance opposite them, when he suddenly felt the touch of long narrow fingers on his wrist. They slipped down and interlaced with his. When he turned his head to meet Sirius gaze, the dark haired man beamed at him. But there was a bit of insecurity in his eyes._

“ _It felt like the right place to do this,” he murmured looking down at their hands._

_Remus noticed that they aligned perfectly. Neither him nor Sirius needed to flex their arms to hold the other’s hand._

“ _You’re blushing, Moony,” Sirius said and poked his cheek with the forefinger of his free hand. “I like it. It’s kind of cute.”_

_He scanned the floor plan that they’d been handed by Milly._

“ _So where are we going first? Natural Sciences? Technology? Ethnology?”_

“ _I like the technology section a lot, because there’s a lot of games and things you can try out. But natural sciences is also quite impressive. I still think they could have done better in the ethnology section.”_

“ _You really worked here?”_

“ _Man, do you think they allow any idiot to hang out here after hours? I have slaved away for them. Best job I ever had. So where are we going?”_

“ _Natural Sciences. If they have dinosaurs.”_

“ _They have dinosaurs.”_

“ _Definitely natural sciences!”_

“ _I didn’t know you were a cliché-boy.”_

“ _I am soooo much cliché, Moony. I am the walking cliché human male.”_

 

From the diary of Sirius Black

We stayed at the museum for hours. And goodness… I am so screwed. Like, Moony is seriously clever. He threw knowledge at me in every single section and it wasn’t just him knowing stuff because he had been there before and memorised the descriptions to the exhibits or something, he actually knew stuff that wasn’t written anywhere. It was so weird. And crazy. I have never been in a museum all on my own. There weren’t any crying children, nor people shoving past you nor annoying scholarly husbands lecturing their whole family…

It was a very proper date and I have to admit it was much more romantic than anything I could have come up with.

I still can’t believe this is happening. I am still waiting for someone to shake me and tell me to wake the hell up because I need to go to my monday morning seminar. But Remus is real, he’s so very real, in a making-me-crazy kind of way. He has that thing he does, when he’s nervous, pushing back that strand of hair, that always falls back into his face. It’s ridiculous to obsess about it but I think it’s the cutest thing I have ever seen.

 

_When they returned to the Entrance Hall, the light of the day had faded and the blue hour was upon the city making the huge white steel construction look even more fairytale-like than it already looked in daylight. They were holding hands again, since they had finished playing dress-up in the Victorian section. Remus stopped in his stride and fumbled in his pockets. “Wait a second.”_

_He pulled out a small mp3 player and a pair of in-ear earphones. He held out one to Sirius._

“ _Just in case this hasn’t been cheesy enough yet, I think I have one more up my sleeve,” he grinned._

“ _I like your kind of cheesy,” responded Sirius and considered whether it could possibly okay to just kiss him there and then, but decided against it._

_It was too early. Even though he felt like he was going to burst because his body couldn’t hold in the feelings any more._

_Remus pressed a button on the mp3 player and some organ chords issued from the earpiece._

_Sirius lifted a brow._

_“Wow.”_

“ _You know what this is?”_

“ _Audioslave? Moony, you surprise me with every minute. I mean… you’re already awesome enough, and now you even have excellent music taste. How come nobody hasn’t yet come to snatch you up?”_

“ _Well… it’s not that easy to snatch someone up if they don’t want to be snatched up. I am… I don’t date.”_

“ _And what is this?,” Sirius asked and made a vague gesture that took in the museum and them._

_Remus interlinked his fingers with the dark haired man’s again._

“ _This,” he said calmly, “is a story that I always wanted to write.”_

_They lay down on their backs on the marble foor in the middle of the hall and watched the sky outside go darker and darker while Chris Cornell sang about how he was not the rolling wheels but the highway, not the autumn moon but the night._

“ _Come on,” Remus said after the song had ended._

_He stood up with his own incredible grace and pulled Sirius to his feet. For a second they only stood there, their faces centimeters away from each other, then Remus took a deliberate step back and smiled._

“ _We should get out before the cleaners arrive,” he suggested. “Otherwise I’ll be the gossip of the week. Did you come with the bike or do I have the pleasure of being able to walk you home?”_

 

_~ So he lives close to the Meadows. And he didn’t mind me walking him home. And he didn’t freak out because I went way overboard with this date. And he didn’t laugh at me because I got carried away again and just became a walking encyclopedia. The way he looked at me… as if he was seriously impressed. And the way he touched my hair when we said good bye. He is always so incredibly gentle. I mean, he plays rugby! One would expect him to be more like James. Rougher. Not this… perfect. We almost kissed. About half a dozen times. I don’t know why we didn’t. But it still feels too much like a dream to rush it. I am already looking forward to seeing him again. A week until lunch-making is a hell of a long time though ~_

 

A./N.: I apologize for my long absence, for the terribly huge amount of fluff in this (you know, this is my therapeutic writing… and my life is very un-fluffy so I need to invent some). I also apologize to anyone who was run over by the feels because of CC. I haven’t listened to much else over the last weeks, hence the first song that came to mind when I thought about what I wanted them to listen to this time, was “The Highway”, which I covered as a tribute and a mental illness awareness thing… Anybody who has zero clue what I am talking about: Just ignore me :-P

Also sorry for the rather short chapter. I guess the lunch-date chapter will be longer. I am not planning on making this a story of epic length and I have an idea about three or four things that need to happen before the final installment, so expect about 10 chapters max?

@articcat621: Ohhhh thank you so much for all those lovely comments! There's gonna be more Tonks in the upcoming chapters. I love her and Sirius as best friends as well. 


	6. Love Boat Captain

“ **If music be the food of love, play on,  
Give me excess of it; that surfeiting,  
The appetite may sicken, and so die.”   
― William Shakespeare, Twelfth Night **

_Tonks was running late. She had miscalculated the time it would take to just pop into Sainsbury’s and get some groceries before going to theatre class and now she’d have to face the eternal wrath of Professor Flitwick because she had probably missed the watm-up session. She rushed through the doors with such speed that they banged against the wall and raced down the corridor not really paying attention to men with too much product in their hair and too much shoe-shine on the tips of their expensive Oxfords. The man did not pay attention to pink-haired derwishes who were late for rehearsal either and thus they bumped into each other with a loud thud. Paper rained down on both of them as they came to their senses._

“ _Ah”, said the young man while collecting a few of the sheets from around him. “I guess you must be Nymphadora?”_

“ _Tonks”, Tonks corrected him through gritted teeth._

“ _Good, good. Nice to meet you. I’m Gilderoy, but I bet you knew that.”_

_Tonks’ mouth just fell open. She had not recognized him at first. Probably for the simple reason that she had not expected to ever see this man anywhere except from on a screen._

“ _Gilderoy Lockhart?”, she gasped._

“ _The very same”, he nodded, got up from the floor and brushed the dust off his trousers before holding out a hand to help her up. “I am assisting Professor Flitwick this semester. He’s allowing me to try my hand at directing a play for the first time. It’s going to be so marvellous. Would you mind helping me pick up these papers, Tonks? I just quickly printed out the scenes we are going to work through today. The ball scene will be so very awesome. Professor Flitwick told me he arranged for the dancers to come around later on so we can see what their ideas might be. We have chosen a rather modern approach so the music will be contemporary rock and it’s going to be such a clash of cultures with the classical ballet and the electric guitars. Splendid.”_

_He kept talking the whole way to the classroom and after about half an hour of “training” under his command, Tonks and all of her class mates – except for Pandora Lovegood who kept giggling and playing with her blonde locks every time Lockhart looked her way. Admittedly, the man was dashing. Just a few years older than the students, he was already quite a star and had worked with quite a few well-known names from Hollywood. He wore tight jeans and a jacket that had clearly been tailored to fit him as snugly as possible. And when he smiled, it was as if somebody had switched on the light. The only problem was, he did not stop talking. And he was so full of himself. Every bit of advice came with an anecdote from this or that movie. Tonks felt a little dizzy and wondered whether Professor Flitwick would mind if she went for a prolongued toilet break. Just when she had come to the conclusion that she could not bear another minute of “Gilderoy, just call me Gilderoy”, the door was opened and someone she knew but had hardly expected walked in._

“ _Ah, wonderful”, Lockhart exclaimed with a wide grin. “You must be the dancers.”  
_

_Remus frowned for a second, then nodded. His gaze caught Tonks’ and he smiled and walked over to her, nudging one of the girls who had come in after him to tag along.  
_

“ _Hey, good to see you. Tonks, this is Emma. Emma, this is Tonks. Who is the clown?”_

" _Gilderoy Lockhart?”_

“ _What? That Gilderoy Lockhart?”_

“ _The very same. He’s incredible… in a bad way._

" _Didn’t know you were into acting.”_

“ _Didn’t know you did ballet.”_

“ _Well… Sirius knows.”  
_

“ _He knows you dance, he doesn’t know what type of dance.”_

“ _Well, it isn’t a secret.”_

“ _So I am allowed to tell him.”  
_

“ _Of course. As long as you also tell him how amazing I am at it.”_

“ _He’s actually really good,” Emma chimed in and blushed. “We’ve been partners for more than a year.”_

_Tonks smiled. Perhaps this rehearsal could become cool after all. It would be much easier to survive the ordeal that was Gilderoy Lockhart, if she had someone who’d join her in taking the piss out of everything the man said._

 

#Tonks said you met her today.

#Gilderoy Lockhart is unbearable. I am thankful she was there. I’d have had to murder him otherwise.

#Sounds like a fabulous chap.

#He’s a nightmare. At one point he tried to explain to us how to do a _battement –_ it looked so ridiculous.

#So… ballet? Seriously?

#I tried my hands – and feet – at Highland Dancing, but found I really don’t look good in a kilt.

#Haha

#I bet you would though.

#What?

#Look good in a kilt. Ever tried it? You’ve got that William-Wallace thing going on with your statue. You could totally pull that off.

#You know that this sounds really weird?

#We are in Scotland. If somebody tells you, you would look good in a kilt it’s a compliment. So did you try one on? Because if you didn’t…

#I am not wearing a skirt for you, Moony.

#Man, you really have not grasped the meaning and the symbolism of the Scottish kilt yet, have you?

#So you wanna see me in a kilt?

#Actually… yes.

#What do I get for that?

#I’d say ‘whatever you want’ but that might lead to mayhem. Suggest something.

#Motorcycle tour, just the two of us. Undisclosed target location?

#Deal. When?

#Let’s talk that through this weekend.

#Looking forward.

#Actually… I don’t want to be creepy but… can I call you tomorrow? I’d like to hear your voice.

#Oh… yeah. Yes of course.

#Cool. Talk to you tomorrow then.

#Sleep tight, Sirius.

#Sleep tight, Remus.

 

Excerpt from Sirius Black’s Diary

I called Remus tonight. Although our trip to museum was only three days ago, I felt like I was loosing my mind. It feels as if the moment we are together he is so real and so amazing and the moment we are apart, it’s as if he becomes that distant dream again. I feel like a creep for thinking this but if there was a possibility to keep him by my side every single minute of every single hour…

I just needed to call him, hear his voice, get some kind of insurance that he is real, this is real, we are real.

It was kind of awkward at first, but as soon as we had started talking properly, it was just easy banter. He told me about how he first started dancing and about Lockhart (seriously… that man must be such a douche, I am actually looking forward to meeting him in person after hearing both Tonks’ and Moony’s accounts). He makes me laugh. Usually only Tonks really makes me laugh. Nobody else has managed to do that for a long time.

Tonks says I need to tell him about the music this weekend. She says he’s clearly opening up to me completely – he even invited me to watch a performance they are doing with his corps at some fancy reception in McEwan Hall next week – and I should do the same. It shouldn’t be such a big thing, but somehow it is. Because if he doesn’t relate, if he can’t understand what music means to me – I couldn’t take it. Tonks says it’s my mum’s fault for never attending any of my concerts and forbidding me to play when there were guests in the house. She might be right.

Concerning mum, I guess it might be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, but as I am not too keen on the inheritance anyways, I am thinking of finally coming out to them. I’m just very tired of mum shoving another girl into my face every single time we meet. The last one was nice enough, but… I just don’t go for girls. I never did, I never will. She’s going to freak out when I tell her. Never thought Bella would keep her trap shut about it. Perhaps it’s her pride. I mean telling them would have involved telling them how she came by that information and ‘I tried to force myself onto my cousin in the garden shed’ isn’t such a heroic story.

Moony agreed to go on a motorcycle-tour with me. I have a pretty weird idea what we are going to do. Tonks is trying to get the particulars out of me, but I am not telling her. She’d call the cheese-police. This is seriously the tackiest thing I have ever done in my life, but I guess Remus won’t mind. The man lay down on the marble floor of the National Museum and watched the stars through the glass ceiling while listening to Audioslave for God’s sake. Romantic fool. Cute, amazing, stunning romantic fool.

 

“ _When is he coming over again?”_

“ _At eleven.”_

“ _And you are okay with me still being here then?”_

“ _Yes I am. I need an extra pair of hands for the chopping. Otherwise we won’t have any food ready until tomorrow.”_

“ _Which wouldn’t bee too bad because you could just ask Moony to stay the night.”_

“ _You are evil.”  
“I am practical.”_

“ _It’s… not like that. Not yet.”_

“ _You wouldn’t want him to stay over?”_

“ _I… I… I don’t want him to think that...”_

“ _You know that you can stay over at someone’s place and not have sex, don’t you?”_

“ _Tonks!”_

“ _Sirius!”  
_

_“I am sorry, I am just...”_

“… _completely and utterly smitten by that boy. I know. I am going to help you chop things and I am going to leave to meet the others for study group after that. And I am also going to murder you if there are no leftovers tonight.”_

“ _There will be leftovers.”_

“ _And dessert.”_

“ _And dessert.”_

“ _Promise me you’ll try to be yourself. All of yourself, I mean?”_

“ _Promise.”_

“ _Don’t look like a shocked rabbit, Sirius. He loves you. He took you to like the most romantic date in history. He’s not gonna drop you when he finds out you’re more than what he bargained for.”_

“ _I’m not afraid of that.”_

“ _What are you afraid of then?”_

“ _This is all moving so fast and… I am afraid it will be fireworks and then… nothing.”_

“ _It’s not going to be nothing. The two of you… believe me Sirius I have seen a lot of couples in my life and I have been through a lot of relationships...”_

“… _a few too many if you ask me.”_

“… _and I have never seen anything quite like you and Remus. You are… like magnets. I think if you’d stand a couple of feet apart without moving, gravitation would still manage to have you in an embrace in less than an hour. This is the weirdest thing I have ever witnessed and it’s kind of scary but it’s also so very beautiful.”_

“ _Hold that thought… that was the bell.”_

 

“ _Hey, come on up! Second floor.” Sirius’ voice came through the speaker phone before the door buzzed open._

_He walked up the old stairs, worn out and polished from generations of students’ feet who had already used them. When he reached the second landing, Sirius was already leaning in one of the door frames._

_Remus couldn’t help but notice again, how incredibly good-looking the man was. He had gone for bootcut jeans and a simple white shirt, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, upper two buttons open. His feet were bare and his hair hung open, framing his face. He sported a day-old stubble and looked as if he had just jumped right out of a fashion magazine._

_Remus smiled._

“ _Hey”, he said, insecure what to do next._

_Sirius noticed his hesitation and immediately took a step forward to pull him into a hug. Remus felt a quick brush of the dark-haired man’s lips on his cheek, but that could have been his imagination._

“ _Glad you’re here. We’ve got Tonks round for a little longer as our personal kitchen maid, so feel free to make use of her skills.”_

“ _Ey, I heard that”, Tonks exclaimed from inside and appeared in the door behind her best friend._

_She squeezed past him and hugged Remus tightly as if they had known each other for a lifetime._

“ _Good to see you, Remus. Hope you have fully recovered from Gildy’s lesson.”_

“ _I am not looking forward to seeing that man again next week.”_

_Tonks shrugged._

“ _He’s not gonna be there for long. Flitwick’s already annoyed by his attitude. I’d give him two more weeks and he’s gonna have to look for other people to play with. Come in. It’s actually more or less tidy for a change, because Sirius spent half the day putting stuff back into place and forced me to do the same.”_

_She led him through a narrow hallway into the living room. It was a cozy space with an old couch and even older arm chairs that looked as if it was very unlikely you were ever going to get back up out of them if you sat down. There was a TV and a writing desk, a huge bookshelf with a ton of books on it and – to Remus’ surprise – a piano in front of one of the windows, with sheet music strewn on the floor around it and a piece by Chopin lying open on the music stand._

“ _Do you play?” he asked Tonks, letting his fingers wander over the keys without making a sound._

_Tonks shrugged._

“ _A little. I am not gifted and I was never into practicing, so I guess I can play, but not well.”_

_Remus’ eyes took in the titles on the music-sheets and he frowned. He knew a bit about classical music. Dancing brought that with it in a way. And these pieces were quite difficult stuff. So if Tonks said she didn’t play well – and she wasn’t the type to downplay her accomplishments..._

“ _I play”, Sirius said, striding into the living room with a knife in one hand and a carrot in the other._

“ _You wanted to help chop things,” he told Tonks and handed both over to her. “So chop things!”_

_She disappeared with a grumble leaving the men alone in the living room._

_Remus looked at Sirius as if he saw him for the first time._

“ _You play the piano? Like… you can play this?” he gestured at all the difficult pieces on the floor and Sirius shrugged._

“ _Wow,” Remus said. “That… that’s quite...”_

_Sirius smiled and walked over to him, lacing their fingers together._

“ _Stop stammering. It’s not a big deal. Come on, let’s get our lunch cooked. I am glad Tonks offered her help, but I am not leaving her to do all of it alone.”_

 

_They prepared lunch and finally, the canelloni with self-made bolognese were simmering in the oven to get a nice brown cheese-crust and Remus’ dessert, Cherry-cream with chocolate chips had been placed in the freezer to achieve just the right half-frozen consistency. Tonks waved good-bye and left the flat after running in circles for about ten minutes searching for her phone, her keys, her sunglasses and the folder with her assignment. Sirius checked the temperature of the oven and turned around._

“ _Going to take about half an hour,” he said. “By the way, do you drink? Or are you like James one of these people who only drink on special occasions and then get completely wasted?”_

_He held up a bottle of red wine. Remus came over to read the label._

“ _Are you kidding me? That’s like liquid gold.”_

“ _It’s pretty expensive, I know. It’s also from my father’s wine-cellar and he doesn’t know I took it. I thought I had the right to get some recompensation for the ordeal they put me through last week.”_

_Sirius pulled a corkscrew from one of the drawers and started opening the bottle._

“ _My mother’s very intent on getting me to marry a nice girl. I have told her more than once that I have no intention to do so, but she is selectively deaf on that topic. Just as on a couple of other topics that are also related with stuff I should be doing with my life and that I am not going to do with it.”_

_He got a decanter from the cupboard – which student on this planet owned a decanter? - and poured the wine into it. It had a rich, dark colour. He swirled the decanter around, then got two glasses out and poured them half-full before holding out one to Remus._

“ _To the fucker in the Mercedes?” Sirius suggested._

_Remus nodded and they clinked their glasses together before sipping some of the red liquid. It tasted like a summer morning._

“ _Let’s sit in the living room, while this is baking,” Sirius suggested._

_They sat down on one of the huge sofas and Remus noticed he had not been wrong thinking that the furniture looked way too comfortable. He also noticed that Sirius was sitting way too far away for his taste._

“ _So you are a musician?”_

_Sirius nodded and took another sip from his glass._

“ _If I am anything, I am that. I could never imagine being anything else, doing anything else. I wanted to study music since I was a kid. My parents weren’t happy about it. They aren’t happy about anything I do really. So… I did economics because my dad wanted me to. I hated it. I dropped it. I studied Music in Sheffield, then saw there was a course in Music Technology here and that’s pretty much how I ended up in Edinburgh.”_

_He sighed and sat down his glass on the tiny coffee table in front of the sofa._

“ _My family doesn’t know it yet. Well… except for Tonks. Tonks knows everything of course. But her parents are decent people. I’ve been staying with Andromeda, her mum, for the last couple of summers because I can’t stand being around my own folks.”_

_Remus nodded. He had known that Sirius had issues with his family, but he had not known to what extent. He assumed that the boy wasn’t even letting him glimpse half of it._

“ _Would you…,” he hesitated, “I mean I am fine if you don’t want to, but I’d love to hear you play.”_

_Sirius looked at him with an expression between fear and happiness that Remus couldn’t quite place. Then he nodded and got up to take his place at the piano. Remus had expected him to just play the Chopin piece that was on the music stand or some other classical piece. But Sirius suddenly grinned and his hands began to lightly dance over the keys. It took Remus about twenty seconds to realize what his friend was doing and he felt like a hand had just reached into his chest and squeezed his heart as hard as possible._

_There was no chance he could stay on the sofa which was way too far away from Sirius. He got up and walked over to the piano, careful not to make any noise that could have disrupted the flow of the song. Sirius launched into the refrain and all his anger and pain seemed to just pour out of him into the instrument. His eyes were closed while he played and Remus wondered how the hell he was able to play without seeing the keyboard. The man’s whole body was involved in the music, swaying, following the melody. He was part of the music, one-hundred percent engulfed in it. Remus stepped a little closer. He knew the words to the song by heart, had always thought the words the strongest part of it._

                    ‘And the young they can lose hope cause they can’t see beyond today/ The wisdom that the old can’t give away...’

_But now he realized that the words weren’t necessary._

_Sirius fingers flew over the keys now as the song reached it’s climax. When the volume fell back to a piano at the end and the melody slowly faded out, he opened his eyes again and his gaze fixed on Remus’, who was surprised to see a flash of panic spread over Sirius’ face as he struck the last chord._

“ _Oh my God, Moony, I am… I am so sorry”, Sirius whispered._

_Only then did Remus notice that his cheeks were wet and his eyes were stinging and the whole scene was a little blurry._

“ _Shit”, he said and brushed away the tears, trying to hide how deeply Sirius’ performance had moved him._

_But Sirius was already on his feet pulling him close wiping the tears away with his hands, looking concerned and relieved at the same time._

“ _Are you okay?”_

“ _I… I am fine. That was beautiful, Sirius.”_

_Suddenly there was no space between them any more. Sirius lips touched his cheeks, his forehead then his lips, only quickly, only fleetingly, before he pulled him even closer into an embrace that felt as if he was clinging onto him for dear life. Remus closed his eyes and returned the embrace, inhaled the scent of Sirius’ aftershave that reminded him of the ocean. If they could have stood there for all eternity like that, he’d have been fine with it._

“ _I think I just fell in love with you all over again,” Remus murmured under his breath._

_He felt Sirius chuckle and suddenly, the dark-haired man’s lips were on his, lingerin this time, teasing, demanding. The kiss lasted for half an eternity before they broke away gasping for breath._

“ _Please tell me you are for real and I am not going to wake up in a second to find this was all a dream,” Sirius demanded._

_Remus unceremoniously kicked his shin._

“ _Ouch!”_

“ _You’re awake, you incredibly talented, wonderful posh boy. And there’s lunch in the kitchen that wants to be eaten.”_

 

#Hey Lily. Not coming round tonight. Staying at Sirius’ place.

#OMG! How did that happen? Call me ASAP!

 

“ _Good morning.”_

“ _Please tell me you had breakfast together and you did not just sneak out!”_

“ _We had breakfast together. There was no reason to sneak out. I mean – nothing happened. I just… we started talking after lunch and somehow it got quite late and Tonks got home and we played board games with her and then she went out to meet her current whatever-he-is and we had spoken about the fact that Sirius had not watched ‘Robin Hood – Prince of Thieves’ so we got that from the video rental shop and while we were there we came across ‘Dances with Wolves’ so we rented that out as well...”_

“ _So you are telling me that you and Sirius Black had a Kevin Costner video night?”_

“ _It wasn’t planned like that, it just happened.”_

“ _Remus, I am sorry to say this, but you are so gay.”_

“ _Surprised?”_

“ _No, I’ve known you for a while now. So, Kevin Costner night and what then?”_

“ _It was late.”_

“ _Yes. I imagine.”_

“ _We might both have been a little drunk.”_

“ _Remus? Is that you?”_

“ _There was wine. Good wine. He stole it from his father’s cellar.”_

“ _Ooooh.”_

“ _So… we ended up listening to music in his room. He’s got quite a collection.”_

“ _Was there cuddles and kissing involved?”_

“ _Some.”_

“ _Oh God, Remus. I am a fan! I am sorry, but I’ve waited for you to sound the way you sound right now for what feels like a century.”_

“ _Sirius… he’s just. He’s special. Did you know he plays the piano. He told me he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to tell me. He played for me. It’s like there’s an unknown universe opening up when he plays. And he was afraid I wouldn’t like it. How could he be afraid of that. It’s magical!”_

“ _You are very into music yourself though, Remus. I think there are people who can’t relate to it.”_

“ _I forgot that you are in a relationship with James-the-Philistine.”_

“ _I’m just happy music is not my world as much as it seems to be Sirius’. But I can understand his point. So… cuddles and kissing?”_

“ _Yeah… and drunk dancing. Sort of. And at some point I just couldn’t be arsed to go home any more and I kept falling asleep anyways and Sirius was like, hey, you can just stay and so… I just slept over.”_

 

Excerpt from Sirius Black’s Diary:

Remus just left and it feels like there’s something missing already. The flat is still tidy, because he insisted on doing the dishes. What guest insists on doing the dishes?

He stayed the night, because we were both pretty drunk. I don’t even know how that happened. We just had a few glasses of wine – okay I checked, there are more empty bottles in the kitchen than I remember opening, so it might have been more than a few glasses. Not hungover though. Thanks dad, for buying decent alcohol.

I considered it might be decent to let Remus sleep in my bed and take the couch, but when I told him so after we were done brushing our teeth, he just pulled me down onto the bed and snuggled up to me, telling me that my bed is definitely big enough for two people and that I shouldn’t act as if I was born in the 19th century. I have never shared my bed with anyone – if you don’t count Tonks when we were about seven – and I’d have expected it to be uncomfortable and way too warm, but with Moony it just feels normal. When I woke up this morning and the first thing I saw was his face with his touseld hair and the second thing I realized was that he was still holding my hand in his sleep, it was the best moment ever. We had croissants and coffee for breakfast (Tonks made the croissants appear somehow, they were waiting for us in the kitchen). He drinks his brew with milk and sugar. How anyone can like sugar in their coffee is beyond me, but it fits Moony somehow. After he heard me play yesterday, he said, he’d just fallen in lobe with me again. Again. As if it was totally clear that he loved me. I haven’t told him yet that he’s the best thing that happened to me in my entire life. But I will do. Soon. Damned, he’s been gone for ten minutes and I already miss him.

 

#I might have left my jacket at your place.

#Yep. Will give it back to you next time we meet.

#I might also have left my heart at your place.

#Yep. Found it. Will keep it safe until you come to collect it again.

#Thanks.

 

A./N.: Thanks everyone for reading this and commenting and leaving kudos. "Barking Mad" is an experiment and probably the weirdest story I have ever written, so if you enjoy it nonetheless, I am happy. Also, I apologize for this chapter pretty much being seven pages of fluff. You know I am usually known more for the subtle tones and for more plot-driven stories. As I said. It's an experiment and something that I just needed to write, somehow.


	7. Black is the Colour

**I would always rather be happy than dignified**

**(Charlotte Bronte – Jane Eyre)**

 

“ _Oh my God, are you serious?”_

“ _I kind of am. It’s like my default setup.”_

“ _I mean… wow. You look absolutely amazing. Can I take a photo?”_

“ _Depends on what you intend to do with it.”_

“ _Hang it up in the bathroom for my friends to drool over when they come visit.”_

“ _Only drool? How disappointing.”_

“ _I only have decent friends who don’t masturbate in another person’s private bathroom.”_

“ _One of your friends is Pandora Lovegood.”_

“ _Well… okay there are exceptions.”_

“ _To answer your question: Yes, you may take a photo. And you can do with it whatever you like. Except send it to my mother.”_

“ _Just to the ‘Sun’ then?”_

“ _I don’t think Murdoch will have any use for a picture of me in Macbeth Tartan, but yeah, if you want to.”_

“ _Will you explain to me why you are wearing this?”_

“ _Request from Remus in return for a motorbike ride to a yet undisclosed location which I am also not going to disclose to you.”_

“ _Are you going to let him get through the performance before you present him with … this? Because if that boy is as much in love with you as I believe he is, he might well be unable to dance or do anything sensible after he’s seen you like this. Damned, Sirius, I could sell that picture to one of these publishing houses… the ones that do the penny-dreadful romance novels my mum reads. You’d be perfect on the cover for one of the Highlander-rescues-fair-maiden-in-distress ones.”_

“ _I was planning on going backstage – after the presentation. I know if it was a girl I’d have to get flowers but I don’t think Remus is the flower-type so I got him this.”_

“ _An old battered copy of Kerouac’s ‘On the Road’?”_

“ _That was what I was reading in the parking lot.”_

“ _I don’t want to say it’s perfect, because clearly it’s cheesy as hell. But, bugger… it’s perfect. I love it. He’ll love it. Are we ready to go then?”_

“ _Yes, as ready as I will ever be.”_

“ _By the way…”_

“ _What?”_

“ _Are you going commando under that chequered piece of cloth?”_

“ _As if I’d tell you that.”_

“ _Sirius! You are no fun!”  
“I am so much fun, Tonks.”_

“ _I wanna know!”_

“ _Why?”_

“ _Because… it’s kinda saucy to go to a black tie event with yout best friend knowing that he’s airing out. Ah, wait.”_

“ _For goodness sake, Tonks! Get off the floor!”_

“ _Hahaha. You’re not really mad at me. And your secret’s safe with me. I’m not gonna tell anyone. Except Rupert Murdoch…”_

“ _Why exactly am I still sharing a flat with you?”_

“ _Because you love me like a sister.”_

“ _Thanks for reminding me. Okay, little sister. Get your bum down the staircase. I’m not gonna be late just because you needed to have a glimpse.”_

 

_Remus and Emma came back into the dressing room, panting slightly. They had performed part of ‘Le Jeune Homme Et La Morte’. It had gone quite well, especially after the first piece – a scene from ‘Swan Lake’ because everybody always wanted ‘Swan Lake’ because when people heard ‘ballet’ their brains immediately went “Swan Lake” - had not been as perfect as it could have been because Frederick, who danced the magician, had managed to twist his ankle. Remus had been waiting for something like that to happen to her for a while now. If you never warmed up before a performance, you’d eventually injure yourself. A twisted ankle was a very minor injury in comparison to what could have happened._

_They sat down on the floor for a quick partner stretch. It was almost mechanical, the way they did these things without even thinking about them any more. They got out of their costumes while the other girls filed in. Remus decided against the shower as the evening would involve ceilidh dancing later on and everyone would be quite sweaty after that anyways. So he only washed himself quickly at the sink and had just pulled on his trousers when somebody knocked at the door._

“ _Remus?” a familiar voice enquired._

_Emma grinned when she saw her dancing partner’s cheeks flush bright red._

“ _Special someone?” she asked._

_Remus shrugged, then nodded._

“ _Out in a minute,” he responded and quickly got into his shirt, shoes and jacket checking his hair in the mirror on the way out._

“ _Hey,” said Sirius, who was leaning against the wall opposite the dressing room door._

_Remus stopped in his stride and stared, baffled, at the sight in front of him._

“ _That was quite a performance. I mean, yes, I know a bit about classical music, but admittedly, ballet’s never been my thing. But that… it was amazing. It’s got such a brutal emotional strength. I love it. And you totally nailed it. Fantastic.”_

_Remus couldn’t reply to all this praise. He was still completely run over by Sirius’ appearance. Sirius finally noticed what was going on and grinned._

“ _You requested a kilt. I learned that occasions like this one are when one tends to wear this attire, so I found it appropriate to try it today. It’s quite comfortable actually. And Tonks says I don’t look too bad in it either.”_

“ _Too bad?” Remus croaked finally. “You… this is too much, I think I need to jump into an ice-tank or something. My brain’s not working any more.”_

“ _Suit yourself”, Sirius smiled and placed a kiss on his cheek. “I might need to join you in the ice-tank. I never thought that I’d ever say ballet dancing was hot.”  
_

_Remus shuddered. What was going on here? They were alone in a dark corridor, yes. But they had been alone in Sirius’ room just a few nights earlier and it had been totally fine. Now it felt like the air was loaded and tiny electric shocks were running through him with each move. It was Tonks who broke the Tension by barging in with a lot of noise and a loud ‘oops’ when she stumbled over one of the requisites and fell smack-down on her face._

_Sirius laughed and walked over to help her up._

“ _Awesome performance, Moony”, she cried, giving him two thumps up. “I hope I am not interrupting anything, but they are doing speeches out there and I just can’t stand speeches. What’s next?”_

“ _Buffet and ceilidh,” Remus explained. “Ever done ceilidh dancing before?”  
_

_None of them had and so they ended up doing a quick rehearsal of the most common figures in the hallway. Emma and the girls also joined in and it was quite fun._

“ _Feel prepared now?” Remus asked, linking his arm with Sirius._

_The dark-haired man nodded._

“ _You’ll love it,” Remus promised. “They have quite a good band playing tonight and also a pretty decent caller. I’ll have to get something to drink first, though, I am parched.”_

 

Excerpt from Sirius Black’s Diary

I danced with Remus tonight. And with Tonks, and with Emma and about two dozen people I never saw before in my life. And I enjoyed it.

Remus’ performance during the official reception was amazing. His movements… you’d never expect him to be able to do these things if you just see him walk. He’s got that total control over his body. And there are more muscles to him than I ever expected. My boyfriend’s the most talented, stunningly beautiful man on this planet.

There was dancing and there was food and when the festivities came to an end at around midnight, Remus asked me whether I wanted to walk him home and I said yes. We made our way up to Newington Road and he held my hand and it was quite warm and there was only a very soft wind blowing and the moon was bright and white in the sky. It took us a while to get to Pollock Halls, because we walked quite slowly, but when we arrived, there was an awkward moment, because I was considering kissing him good bye. We hadn’t kissed all night. Didn’t seem appropriate in front of all these people. And then he asked me up to his room.

We made tea and sat down in the kitchen and I met the cat who is lovely. We talked about all and nothing. A lot about music and about motorcycles. And about our parents, although I didn’t tell him as much about my family as he told me about his. His parents sound pretty okay. We didn’t even notice how late it was until the sky outside became lighter again and the day was dawning. And that lunatic boy suggests we go up Arthur’s Seat now and watch the sunrise and because I couldn’t think of any reason why that was a bad idea, we did it. We walked up that damned hill in our best sunday clothes and it’s steeper and further up than one thinks and then we stood on top of the hill as the sun slowly crawled its way onto the sky. I was sitting with my back against the stone pillar that marks the peak and Remus was leaning against me his head resting on my shoulder.

That’s when I remembered the book. Funny thing that kilts come with these Sporran things, that are like a handbag just for men, and I had put it in there and I had completely forgotten about it. So I gave it to him and he immediately knew what it was and that’s when he kissed me and it felt as if you get a breath of fresh air after deep-sea diving for an hour.

 

“ _Where unbruised youth with unstuff’d brain doth couch his limbs, there golden sleep doth reign. Therefore thy earliness doth me assure though art up-roused by some distemperature. Or if not so, then here I hit it right, our Romeo hath not been in bed tonight!”_

“ _Stop quoting Shakespeare, Lily. Is there coffee?”_

“ _There you go. So what happened last night? What made you come home in the morning looking like a bancrupt manager and humming ‘Black is the colour’”_

“ _Sirius came to see me dance.”_

“ _That much is known.”_

“ _We stayed until the ceilidh was over.”_

“ _I didn’t expect anything else.”_

“ _He walked me home.”_

“ _Ohhh, now it gets interesting.”_

“ _We talked.”  
“Talked?”_

“ _Yeah, talked, for hours, until it was like five in the morning and the sun started rising.”  
“And?”_

“ _And then we walked up Arthur’s Seat because he hadn’t been there yet.”_

“ _Yeah… totally logical.”  
“Lily!”_

“ _No really, it’s kind of sweet. And romantic, I guess. I am just cranky because James was an idiot yesterday.”  
“What happened?”_

“ _Doesn’t matter. Really, Moony, we’re going to sort this out and I’d rather hear your story than tell you mine.”_

“ _Well there’s not much else. We sat there, watched the sunrise. He gave me the book he read when I first saw him...”_

“… _in front of the club?”_

“… _in the parking lot.”_

“ _God, Moony, that actually is romantic.”_

“ _And we kissed.”_

“ _Good kisser?”_

“ _The best.”_

“ _You’re not the best judge, though. How many people have you kissed?”_

“ _Not many. But don’t need to really.”_

“ _You are a goner for that boy, aren’t you?”  
“And I am still afraid.”_

“ _Of what?”_

“ _I don’t know. It seems… too perfect in a way.”_

“ _Are you afraid that...”_

“ _Yes… I… I never was, you know. I never cared. I always thought it’s over, it’s not coming back but...”_

“ _But now you are afraid, because things are too good and you feel that drama’s lurking around the corner? And of course it can’t be just a bit of drama, it has to be major drama?”_

“ _Yeah… sort of.”_

“ _Remus, you’ve been Leukemia free for six years. You’re gonna be fine. I even read an article a while ago that happiness hormones actually can help beat cancer. Well duh! If you don’t have enough happiness hormones, nobody has!”_

“ _Thank you, Lily.”_

“ _De nada, Romeo.”_

“ _Don’t Romeo me.”_

“ _Why?”_

“ _Because that story ended badly.”  
“Point taken. Not Romeo then. I am making full English by the way. I need sausages and ham to get my mind off James. Want some as well?”_

“ _Sure.”_

“ _Eggs?”_

“ _Scrambled, please.”_

 

#I had a lovely night tonight.

#Ditto. I am just incredibly tired and supposed to survive three lectures in a row.

#Sorry.

#Don’t ever feel sorry for being the best thing that happened to me like – ever.

#You know about our agreement?

#Motorcycle ride?

#Yes. Next weekend. I’m picking you up. 6 pm sharp on friday Pack for two days.

#Oh. Now I am curious.

#Not telling you. Didn’t even tell Tonks.

#That means something. No chance then.

#No chance.

#Friday?

#Friday. Make sure that the light on your machine works.

#Don’t insult the machine.

#It’s an SR500, I don’t need to insult it.

#I love that bike!

#Sorry. Won’t happen again. It’s a cute bike.

#Cute is still diminutive.

#And you’re cute as well.

#Don’t change the subject.

#I’m not changing the subject. I am leaving for training. And I am looking forward to friday.

#Me too.

 

 

A./N, Slightly shorter chapter than the last one... but I felt like posting it, so I did.

@moomin4455: More fluff... but I guess you've spotted the angst. I'm after all unable to write pure fluff, but no worries, this is not going to deteriorate into angst-country.

Sooo tidbits that nobody cares about but that I'll explain anyways.

The choreography that Remus and Emma dance an excerpt from is "Le Jeune Homme Et La Mort" and there are several renditions of it on youtube if you want to have a look. My favourite rendition is by Roberto Bolle, because I totally have a thing for that man and his dancing is just superb.

Ceilidh dancing is one of my absolute favourite things in the world and it is actually quite a common thing to have a ceilidh dance as part of an official thing. Of you wanna see what ceilidh dancing looks like, youtube is your friend there as well.

Arthur's Seat is really right in the backyard of Pollock Halls so it makes total sense to walk up there in the morning.

Kilts and commando go together quite well and this is not just something that was made up for the tourists. By being an avid ceilidh dancer I have caught more glimpses of genitalia than I ever wanted to. Did Sirius go commando, though? Ask Tonks, she should know ;-)

Lily is quoting Friar Lawrence.

And "Black is the Colour" is a beautiful folk song. I quite like the "The Corrs" version of it. Christy Moore is also nice. The Peter Hollens version I just fell over when I typed it into my youtube search is absolutely horrible (sorry, Peter, I usually love your work). There's also a rather musical-like rendition from Voyage... it's different but also quite cool.

And that's it with the random information.

 

 

 

 


	8. Grace

**There are seven words that will make a person love you.**

**(“The Name of the Wind” - Patrick Rothfuss)**

 

“ _Glad you made it.”_

“ _Wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”_

“ _Glad the machine made it.”_

“ _Stop bullying my ride.”_

“ _Will your ride survive a three-and-a-half-hour tour?”_

“ _It survived longer tours than that before. Where are we going?”_

“ _Undisclosed location, remember? That means you are not supposed to know.”_

“ _But I am curious.”_

“ _Curiosity killed the cat.”_

“ _Meow.”_

“ _Don’t start meowing on me or we’re not going anywhere. I don’t know why, but it’s kind of sexy when you do that.”_

“ _Ow.”_

“ _Yeah. I am weird. Scared now?”_

“ _Not really. I am weird, too.”_

“ _Grand. So now we have settled this, let’s go?”_

“ _Let’s go.”_

“ _You know I was half-hoping your bike would break down and you’d have to ride along behind me.”_

“ _You’re evil. And that wouldn’t have worked because of the backpacks anyways.”_

“ _You’re so hopelessly practical sometimes.”_

 

_Sirius started his bike and Remus followed suit. He had no clue where they were going but after a while he could at least tell they were heading north towards Aberdeen. They passed the Cairngorms and the city of Aberdeen staying on the A90 for most of the way. Finally, Sirius left the main road and they soon entered the village of Boddam. Remus tried to think of any reason why one would drive 3.5 hours to get to Boddam, which was neither beautiful nor picturesque enough to deserve that much attention, when Sirius passed the library and the post office and turned his Marauder into Bridge Street. It only took Remus a few seconds to realize where they were headed. Right in front of them, at the edge of a cliff, a lighthouse stood looming in front of the darkening sky. Sirius pulled his bike up to the side and turned off the motor. His hair looked a mess after the helmet had done it’s destructive job for hours. But he seemed to shine with delight when he turned to Remus who had parked his SR500 next to his friend’s machine._

 

“ _What do you say?,” the dark-haired man asked._

_Remus stared at him._

“ _We are staying at a lighthouse?”_

“ _Yes. That cottage over there is ours. Just need to pick up the keys.”_

“ _I… wow.”_

“ _Wanna go in?”_

“ _This is… amazing.”_

“ _Good undisclosed location?”_

“ _Excellent undisclosed location.”_

“ _I hoped you’d like it. I also organized keys for the lighthouse itself. Owner did not like the idea at first, but I can be very persuasive and very charming.”_

 

_They picked up the keys and went into the cottage. It was a comfortable place – and actually too big for two people. Remus did not really want to know how much money Sirius had spent on this holiday. There was a comfortable living room with a plushy sofa and an open fireplace, a huge modern kitchen and a bedroom with a kingsize double bed. There was also a shower, which was very welcome after spending that much time on the bike in full leather armour. Sirius went first and Remus was left sitting on the bed and wondering how on earth he deserved this. He looked around and his eyes fell on some paper, a bottle of ink and a fountain pen that were sitting on the small desk. How posh was that? An idea started forming in his mind, a really courageous idea. He got up and went into the kitchen to see what it had to offer and smiled when he found a bottle of red wine. The brand wasn’t as expensive as the one Sirius had stolen from his father’s private collection, but it was decent enough._

_After a quick shower, he came back into the kitchen to find Sirius sitting on the white wooden table, dangling his feet and studying the label on the wine bottle. His friend had found two glasses in one of the cupboards. Remus stood in the doorway for a few seconds taking in the sight. Sirius hair was even curlier than usual after the shower. His skin seemed to be radiating. He was dressed lazily in a pair of jeans and a grey t-shirt and wore neither socks nor shoes. He seemed to notice Remus’ gaze and looked up, smiling._

“ _Wanna go up to the lighthouse and watch the stars, Moony?”_

_Remus nodded. His tongue was stuck to his palette. He was quite happy he still remembered how to breathe._

_Sirius took his hand and they made their way out of the cottage into the actual lighthouse and up the stairs to the top. The view was stunning. The moon had come out and lighted up the waves as they crashed onto the shore. A few stars were also visible in the sky. They sat down on the floor with their backs to the staircase-railing._

_Sirius filled their wine glasses, held one out to Remus and clinked his against it._

“ _I’m glad we’re here together,” he said calmly and leaned against Remus’ shoulder._

_Remus couldn’t answer. He felt Sirius warm body next to his, Sirius head on his shoulder, Sirius hair on his neck, Sirius smell in his nostrils and he just wanted to open a jar and fill all of his feelings inside it just so he could open it from time to time when things weren’t great. That jar would be his most sacred possession and he’d label it “pure happiness”._

_They sat in silence for a while, sippin their wine. Sirius started humming the tune of “Grace” at some point and snuggled closer trailing light kisses down Remus’ neck._

“ _Are you okay?” he asked. “You haven’t said much since we arrived. Tell me if this is too much and you’d rather we don’t stay here but go home tomorrow. I know I can be… I tend to get involved and then just go for it and overstep and scare people off. I don’t mean to, but I just don’t notice it until it’s too late, so please tell me if...”_

_Remus shook his head and turned to fix the other’s dark eyes with his._

“ _You haven’t overstepped, Sirius. I am just… I think I just can’t believe that all of this is happening and I want to take it in and keep it and remember every second. I… I don’t get involved, you know. I never did – before you.”_

_He blushed, thinking he might have said too much, but Sirius only smiled and pulled him into an embrace to kiss him gently on the mouth._

“ _You’re an extraordinarily amazing man, Remus Lupin. And I love you so much, I think I’m going to burst into tiny little pieces just because my heart needs more space than my ribcage can provide.”_

 

_They came back to the cottage after Remus noticed the goosebumps on Sirius’ arms. While the taller man had wisely decided to wear his favourite grey hoodie, Sirius had only put on a t-shirt and the lighthouse became quite chilly at night, while the cottages had central heating._

_Remus gulped as they crossed the threshold. He had been wondering whether he’d be able to follow his plan through, but Sirius admission that he loved him, had strengthened his resolve._

_They walked into the bedroom and Sirius just dropped his clothes and snug under the blanket. Remus grinned, then turned the heater up, to make sure the room was warm enough._

“ _Are you tired?” he asked his friend._

_Sirius poked his nose up from under the duvet and raised a brow._

“ _Semi,” he retorted. “I surely ain’t fit to drive or anything, because I might be a little tired and a little intoxicated, but I am not close to falling asleep any minute. Does that answer your question?”_

_Remus nodded, then kneeled down on the mattress and kissed him deeply. His hands travelled down Sirius’ shoulders, over his chest, down to his stomach, shoving the duvet down with them._

“ _I’d like to try something,” he murmured._

_Sirius was looking at him with an expression that was somewhere between bemused and totally smitten._

“ _Go ahead,” he whispered, “I’m all yours.”_

_Remus sighed and got up._

“ _Breathe,” he told himself and closed his eyes for a second or two, before removing his own t-shirt and grabbing the ink-pot and fountain pen from the table._

“ _Lie on your stomach,” he whispered, walking back to the bed. “Please.”_

_Sirius followed suit, still bewildered and curious._

_Remus straddled him, making sure his weight was supported by his legs and not by Sirius’ bum, then he trailed his fingers over the muscles on the rugby player’s back._

“ _As the sun rises in the east,” Remus whispered and dipped the pen into the ink._

“ _The stars hide their light, but never vanish.”_

_He hesitated for a split second, then placed the tip of the pen onto Sirius skin, right at his left shoulder blade and started writing the words down as he said them._

 

As the sun rises in the east

The stars hide their light, but never vanish.

Only fools, who believe the sun to be the master of the universe.

As there are a million stars, all of them just as bright or brighter,

Masters among masters,

E pluribus unum.

But you only see the One

Who is Closest,

Whose light was born from dust and darkness

To warm your heart

And hold your soul

Close, closer.

Forever or a day,

What does it matter?

It just matters that it is,

That it was,

That it will be,

Your master,

The sun of your universe.

A star among stars

And yet the only one that matters,

As the day rises.

 

_Remus finished the last line and put the ink and pen carefully away before blowing onto Sirius’ skin to make the poem dry a little quicker._

_He wasn’t sure whether Sirius had enjoyed it or just fallen asleep before a moan escaped his friend’s lips and the dark haired man turned onto his back with one fluent motion, pulling him close and kissing him hungrily, desperately, wildly._

“ _I don’t even know how I deserve you,” Sirius gasped between kisses. “But shit, destiny must be in love with me to give me something as beautiful as you.”_

_Remus smiled and let his hands – now stained with dark ink blotches – trail through Sirius’s still slightly damp hair._

“ _I thought… after you played for me. It seemed that I owed you. You gave me a part of your soul, a glimpse of the secret realm of Sirius Black and… well, this is mine.”_

_Sirius stared at him._

“ _You write poetry?”_

“ _I try to.”_

_Sirius closed his eyes for a long moment. A very long moment. It was so long that Remus felt panick rising up in his throat._

“ _Sirius?” he asked, his voice a little to squeaky._

_Sirius eyelids flew open and he pulled Remus close into a hug._

“ _I… I am terrible at all of his,” he murmured. “And you don’t even know how scared I am of even saying these words, but I love you. I love you, Remus Lupin. I was in love with you before I knew you and now that I know you, I feel like I was such an idiot. I had that image in my head of how you were, who you were, what you were… and you surpassed every expectation.”_

_He shuddered, and Remus wrapped his arms around him, holding him close._

_Suddenly, a chuckle escaped Sirius lips._

“ _What is it?” Remus asked and kissed him on the forehead._

“ _I… you know I brought you here, because I thought we’d get to next base?”_

_Remus nodded._

“ _I was aware of that and I am totally up for it.”_

_Sirius sighed._

“ _Turns out I am not,” he said hoarsely. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I want you. I want you so badly that it hurts, but… not tonight. I think… tonight I just want you to be here, with me, close to me. I want to hold you, I want to feel your breath, I want to touch your skin. And I want to thank God or destiny or the Great Spirit or whatever the hell is responsible for this for the fact that I found you.”_

_A few seconds ticked by without a noise._

“ _Is that okay for you?” Sirius asked carefully._

_Remus grinned, kicked his jeans off and snuggled up to him under the duvet._

“ _You are a very strange person, Sirius Black,” he murmured and switched the light off._

_Remus head rested on Sirius left shoulder. Remus left arm was draped across his friend’s chest where his fingers intertwined with those of Sirius right hand. He felt Sirius chest rise and fall, his regular breathing. It was soothing and calming and… right._

“ _I love you, Moony,” Sirius whispered._

“ _I love you too, Pads.”_

 

A./N. Excessive fluff is fluffy... once again. Hope you still enjoy this, though.


	9. The Origin of Love

**_"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate._ **

**_Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure._ **

**_It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us"_ **

**_Marianne Williamson_ **

 

_Remus woke up to find the pillow next to him vacated. Outside, seagulls were crying in the breeze and the waves crashed onto a shore in a steady rhythm. He got up slowly, noticing that he could smell coffee from the direction of the spacious kitchen._

_Sirius was only wearing jeans, but no shirt and was currently juggling two very burnt toasts that had clearly been his first attempt at using the toaster provided by the hotel. He must have sensed his entry because he turned around and beamed at his friend._

“ _Morning Remus”, he said with a wave to the table, where milk, cereals, butter, jam and cheese were waiting to be eaten._ “ _Sorry, toast isn’t ready yet. This thing has a scale of five. Tell me, if this” - he held up a very black slice of toast - “happens at grade 3, what do you think happens at five? Instant bread-to-dust action?”_

_Remus grinned and walked over to the coffee machine – it was one of these automatons that ground the beans and then made coffee out of them all in one neat process._

“ _My mum used to have that exact toaster,” he said. “She likes her bread about that colour right there and as the old toaster had needed grade 5 to get it to that stage of let’s call it ‘medium burnt’ - well yeah, you know, ‘instant bread-to-dust’ actually covers it nicely.”_

_Sirius stared at the toaster, put two more slices in and turned the knob down to 1._

_Then he shook his head, deciding he would not solve the mystery of this weird device and walked over to Remus to pull him into a hug and place a kiss on his forehead._

“ _I’m glad you’re here.”_

_Remus laughed._

“ _Guess what, I am kind of glad I am here as well, especially as my gorgeous boyfriend is here as well and just made breakfast – oh look, toast, brown-but-edible toast.”_

_Sirius stared at the slices that had appeared from the toaster._

“ _What do people like Tonks do who only want crispy but not brown at all?”_

“ _Get another toaster, I guess?”_

“ _Somebody really screwed up in production and never got caught.”_

“ _I’m pretty sure whoever it was is the manager of the company nowadays.”_

“ _That’s how life works in general, isn’t it?”_

“ _From my experience – yes.”_

 

#Hi Remus. Just checking in whether you and the SR survived the trip.”

#Stop putting down my bike, everybody!”

#So you are alive and well?”

#I am alive and well. So is the bike. So is Sirius.

#Lily asks which base.

#Lily would never ask such a thing. Shut up James.

#You are no fun at all. This is vital information. We have to make sure you don’t end up as an old hag.

#James, it is out of the question I end up as a hag. I have a y-chromosome and identify as male.

#What’s the male version of hag?

#No idea. As hag is somewhat similar to ‘witch’ it could be wizard, but that’s much too nice.

#Wait… witch/wizard… hag/hagard. Haggard!

#I don’t think this is how it works…

#Gods… sorry Remus, someone gave him coffee

#Lily? James never drinks coffee!

#And now you know why. I took away his phone, so he won’t bother you any more. Have fun with Sirius. Say hello from me and have the best weekend of all weekends.

 

“ _Lily says hello.”_

“ _Oh, hello back. Have you told her we went kite surfing?”_

“ _I didn’t. I still can’t believe you got me to do that.”_

“ _And it was fun.”_

“ _It was enormous fun. Yet I still don’t think it was intended to be done with that many waves and that close to a cliff.”_

“ _We both survived.”_

“ _And I learned that you are one of these people who get reckless and need someone to apply the brakes before they crash into an abyss.”_

“ _I am like the coyote. I just don’t look down. As long as you don’t look down, you can keep running on air.”_

“ _The coyote always looks down, though.”_

“ _But if it didn’t it would keep on running.”  
“Possible. But not proven. So what do we do tonight?”_

“ _I didn’t really make plans. We could head down to the local pub, if you feel like company. Or we could take a walk along the beach. Or we could have pizza and watch telly… I really don’t know.”_

“ _Pub sounds horrible. There’s going to be people there and the only person I want to have around me this weekend is right here. Also, we’re in the countryside and there’s gonna be a bunch of old homophobic eejits, so we’d have to pretend we’re mates, and I don’t want to have to sit on my hands to keep myself from touching your hair and holding your hand. Beach, then pizza?”_

“ _Plan.”_

“ _Take a sweater this time. I am not taking responsibility for my boyfriend catching a cold.”_

“ _That’s the second time you’ve used that word.”_

“ _What word?”_

“ _Boyfriend.”_

“ _What’s with it?”_

“ _It’s… kind of… well it makes it official in a way.”_

“ _Aren’t we official?”_

“ _That’s not what I mean. It… I like when you say it. It makes it more real in a way.”_

“ _Boyfriend… boyfriend… boyfriend… boyfriend...”_

“ _Stop kissing me, or the beach won’t happen.”_

“ _Okay, boyfriend, get a sweater and let’s get going.”_

 

Excerpt from Sirius Black’s diary

We went to the beach tonight. The sky’s much darker around here than it is in Edinburgh. Less light pollution. The stars are much brighter and much clearer. We walked right along the tide line and at one point, Remus bent down and picked up a stone. It was small, perhaps twice the size of my thumb and its surface had been washed smooth by the water. It is green with black lines and it almost feels soft to the touch. He put it in my hand and closed my fingers around it and told me to keep it so I always remember this night. As if I could ever forget any second of our acquaintance. Does he even understand how important he is to me?

We ordered pizza when we got home and ate it while watching TV. Don’t ask me what was on telly. I wouldn’t be able to remember. At one point Remus asked me about the worst day in my life. I had to think for a bit but finally settled on the Bellatrix incident. He was shocked. I guess mostly because I told it a nonchalantly as I could muster. It’s in the past and long gone. I don’t think there’s much damage left. When I asked him what his was, he told me he had been diagnosed with Leukemia five years ago. That wasn’t that long before I first saw him. I remember I thought he looked too thin, but I wouldn’t have been able to tell he had just been through a terrible illness. He says he didn’t react well to chemotherapy. That is, it got rid of the cancer but it also made him weak and left him dizzy and feeling sick all the time. He goes to regular check-ups and has been cancer-free for a long time now, but I can tell he’s afraid of it. Man, I am afraid of it as well.

From there, our conversation went on to other topics of a lighter and more positive nature and we actually talked until Remus fell asleep on my shoulder. I just carried him into the bedroom. He’s not that heavy, but he’s very tall, so it was a bit of a struggle not to bump his head or feet against anything. I have carried Tonks so many times and she’s not a lightweight, but she’s compact enough so you don’t have to bother about the width of door frames half as much.

 

“ _Sirius?”_

_Sirius turned his head and saw Remus standing in the living room door. He glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed with some surprise that it was two o’clock in the morning. He had started writing down the melody that had been ghosting through his mind during the day and it had become quite late – or quite early._

_The sight of Remus, his hair mussed, wearing nothing but his pair of boxers, made his heart race. He wanted to get up, run over to him, kiss him, touch him… but something kept him back._

“ _I am sorry I fell asleep.”_

_Remus came over and stood next to Sirius, putting his hands on his shoulders then sliding them down his chest and placing a kiss on the top of his locks._

“ _What are you… oh you’re composing?”_

“ _Yeah… I… I’m not really good, but I sometimes write stuff.”_

_Remus took the page Sirius had been working on and followed the notes with his finger, humming the melody._

“ _It’s… kind of sad,” he murmured when putting the composition back down._

_His eyes searched Sirius’ face._

“ _Are you okay?”_

_Sirius chuckled and pulled him into an embrace so tight it made Remus gasp for breath._

“ _I am more than okay,” he said. “I am in love, you fool.”_

_Remus tried to take a step back, stumbled and landed on the table. And suddenly, there were no questions any more, as he pulled Sirius down into a deep kiss that seemed to last for an hour. His hands expertly found their way below the dark haired man’s t-shirt and pullover and pulled it over his head with a single motion, then trailed down his muscular chest. Sirius shuddered. And suddenly the hands were gone._

_He stared at Remus._

“ _What the…?”_

_Remus bit his lip._

“ _I am not going to be like your cousin… I don’t… I...”_

“ _Gods, Remus, I’ve been dreaming about you for years – which admittedly is disconcerting, but as it seems to have been mutual, I guess I can admit it. I played the piano for you. I wore a kilt for you. I took you on a romantic holiday for two. You caught me writing a damned sonata that might as well be titled ‘Moony at Starlight’ or something similarly ridiculous. You are the best damn thing that has ever happened to me and I am so crazy about you that I don’t even know how I managed to sleep last night with you by my side. And you seriously believe I don’t want this to happen? I want you all over me and as close as it is possible.”_

_Remus laughed._

“ _Let’s do this properly then,” he grinned. “Let’s have some music and at least a sofa. I don’t mind the table, but if you even feel remotely like I do, you’re not getting any sleep tonight and I prefer minimal bruising for maximum continuity.”_

“ _You are way too mature for me.”_

“ _Nope. I’ve just been stressing about this moment ever since I bumped into you at Bristo Square. And I want it to be legendary.”_

_He walked over to the stereo and put one of the CDs he had brought along into the slot._

_Sirius couldn’t help but grin._

“ _You brought the ‘Hedwig’ soundtrack, you marvellous piece of weirdness?”_

“ _The fact that you recognized that from the first chord makes you so hot right now, Sirius.”_

_And suddenly it was easy to walk over to him and push him onto the sofa and cover him with kisses and feel his fingers run through Sirius’ hair, down his back, around to the front where they expertly undid the button on Sirius’ jeans with one fluent movement._

“ _I love you,” Remus murmured_

_Sirius groaned._

“ _I love you, too,” he whispered in response, “and I’m gonna make sure you never forget it.”_

 

A./N. I am cutting this Story here, although I hope to come back to this storyline at some Point and write a - not quite so fluffy - Sequel to it some day.


End file.
